


Using

by Leticheecopae



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Creampie, Cum Eating, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, NSFW, Sex, Size Difference, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leticheecopae/pseuds/Leticheecopae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat and Signless wake up with no memory of their previous lives. All they know are their names, that the sun will kill them, and that they need to find civilization. Karkat also knows that somehow in this hostile world he must make himself as useful as possible to his older counterpart, but he only has so much of himself that he can give. Will it be enough?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Being Useful

**Author's Note:**

> I have even more writing over on tumblr under the same name. Feel free to drop by!

The only things the two of them remember, or at least, seem to remember, are their names. Well, a semblance of a name anyways. Karkat can only remember that, Karkat. No last name, no middle, if there ever was one; though something in the back of his mind tells him there was. 

The other troll only remembers going by Signless. He’s sure there was something else he was called once, but it is locked deep behind a door that has since been bricked off, sandbagged, and covered with concrete. 

They had woken up at the edge of the sea, both without memories and alone except for the each other. It was the first rays of the sun that had woken them, turning the sand molten hot even in the first few rays of light, and cooking their skin where clothing didn’t cover it. The only reason they hadn’t fried in the sun was because of Signless’s quick thinking. He had pulled Karkat beneath the trees and used his height to pull down bough after bough of thick foliage to cover them. It hadn’t been perfect, leaving them both sweating and gasping in the day's heat, but it had provided the protection they needed to survive.

“Make sure to keep the strands going over one another,” Signless tells Karkat. It makes Karkat jump; his hands twisted in strands of a plant he doesn’t know the name of. He is creating a mess of what is supposed to be a rope. Signless had shown him how to do it, but so far, Karkat can’t quite get it. He’ll forget the pattern or which way he’s supposed to be twisting, or he’ll drop a strand and then it’ll look more like a twisted rat’s nest rather than a braid.

“I’m fucking trying,” Karkat grumbles, a blush on his cheeks. He’s watched Signless braid strand after strand. It looks easy as long as Karkat’s eyes are on Signless’s fingers; the light of the moon and the fire’s flames illuminating the movements. Yet the second Karkat looks down at his own strands, his fingers become clumsy and he can’t translate to his hands what his eyes have seen. 

Signless claims they will need the rope to get over the mountains in the distance. They can use it to create ladders and lassos; set up makeshift tents and create bundles to pull up into the rocky hills where there will be less cover. Karkat believes Signless fully, because Karkat has a very limited skill set and none of it involves knowing how to survive in a world with a sun that tries to bake you alive and nights filled with dangerous creatures. Even now, their campsite is surrounded with warning chimes made of branches and dried leaves that will let them know if something attempts to come into the campsite. Tonight the fire light has been enough to keep those beasts away.

Karkat undoes a few strands and gets back down to the knot under his big toe, trying again. He gets maybe a few plaits in before he forgets his direction and the mistakes begin.

“Damn it!” His words are sharp and they make the older troll next to him jump. Karkat tosses the strands to the ground of the clearing and shoves his claws into his hair. “I can’t fucking get it,” he grits out. “I’m sorry, I’m such a worthless flask of grub sauce when it comes to shit like this.”

“Hey, come on, it’s alright,” Signless replies, his hand gentle on Karkat’s back. The gentle touch makes a shock go up Karkat’s spine. 

“You’ll get it,” Signless continues kindly. “This shit took me forever to get right...I think.” He proceeds to rub small circles into Karkat’s back. Each ripple of pressure makes Karkat’s body tense. While he may not have memories, he does have feelings and instincts; one that he has been fighting is that he needs to make himself useful to this older troll. Karkat can’t be that much younger; maybe ten, eleven sweeps? Signless can’t be much more than thirteen or fourteen at the most. Still, that thread of thought hasn’t left his mind and it sits like stones in his belly.

“Here,” Signless says a few moments later. “Maybe if we do it once together it’ll be easier.” He gets up off the fallen log they have been using as a seat, moves behind Karkat, and goes to sit down.

Karkat stays perfectly still as Signless moves behind him, throws a leg on either side of Karkat, and leans around him to hook the strands back onto Karkat’s toe. He even rolls up the tattered cuff of Karkat’s pants to keep it out of the way of the plant strands.

The warmth of Signless behind Karkat seems even warmer than that of the fire crackling before them. Signless had been the one to makes fires for most of their journey, though Karkat had actually made this one; even if it was more from dumb luck than skill. The spark he had created had been wrought from anger, though it had still lit the kindling and that was the important thing. 

“Alright,” Signless says as he takes Karkat’s hands in his own and pushes the fibrous strands into Karkat’s fingers. “Just follow my lead.” 

“O-okay.” Karkat can’t quite keep the stammer out of his voice, though if Signless notices he ignores it. Signless is larger than Karkat and has a strength that Karkat hasn’t obtained yet. In another sweep or so, after his next pupation, then he’s sure he’ll be similar to Signless, but right now he is nowhere near the same. Signless towers over Karkat by a good foot, is much broader in most areas, and his skin has the darker tone like that of all older trolls. Even his fingers feel powerful as they move Karkat’s and guide them through the movements.

Karkat both watches and feels the pattern that makes the worthless strands into rope. 

“See, you’re doing just fine,” Signless murmurs into Karkat’s hair, and it makes Karkat shiver. He likes it, feeling Signless’s powerful body pushing against him like this, and that realization makes his stomach squirm. So far he’s mostly just felt an underlying sense of fear towards the older troll and the need to be useful. But sometimes, when they are shoved into whatever small crevice or hutch that Signless has made to protect them, it shifts into something he doesn’t want to deal with. 

When Signless lets go of Karkat’s hands and moves away, Karkat’s body moves with him for just a moment. Signless pauses, his hands resting on Karkat’s forearms. The tattered remains of Karkat’s sweater sleeves do little to block out the heat from Signless’s hands.

“Are you cold?” Signless asks him. His fingers begin to move, rubbing over both cloth and flesh as they shift over the holes in Karkat’s clothing. The contact makes Karkat shudder. Part of him wishes there wasn’t any cloth blocking the contact, while the rest of him thanks the heavens that there is. 

“A little,” Karkat grumbles. He hopes Signless will continue to take his shudders as shivers and gives another when Signless’s body shifts along his back.

“Yeah, we’ve let the fire get a little low,” Signless sighs, his voice a tad annoyed. “Be right back.” He rises from the log, legs brushing along Karkat’s sides as he stands. “Keep working at it, I’m sure you’ll get it soon.” 

Karkat watches Signless go out into the tree line, picking up twigs, branches, and a few small logs as he goes. He is a dark figure in the trees, his body mostly a shadow with only the dirty red lines of his clothing to outline him. It’s hard for Karkat to watch the fibers in his hands and not Signless as he moves fluidly through the trees, though he does his best. Signless is counting on him to help make rope and Karkat’s going to do his damndest to get this right.

\-----

Karkat manages two good strands of rope to eleven of Signless’s before the edge of the world starts to lighten. The sun creeps upwards and with it the two of them climb back into the cave Signless had found the night before. It is at the base of a tree and the roots zigzag around the dirt walls, possibly holding them up. The shelter isn’t that large or spacious and was probably the den of some large beast at one point. The dirt walls have been packed down to the point of being almost like stone and there is a somewhat musky odor that still permeates through it. The room is no wider than two of Karkat and no longer than two of Signless. The angled hole to the surface is wide enough for them both to move in and out of side by side, albeit snuggly. The boughs of leaves they put over the opening keeps most of the sunlight out, making the hole cooler than the outdoors, though it is far from actually being cool during the day.

“Are you sure nothing's going to come back?” Karkat asks. He can’t help it. The den freaks him out, and while nothing happened the night before, he can’t help but fear something showing up. There is only one way in and there is little room to maneuver; the ceiling is so low they have to crawl while inside. Signless’s horns barely miss the low ceiling when he kneels, and Karkat could probably just crouch, but it’s horrifying to know he can’t run.

“I told you,” Signless huffs. “The smell would be much stronger if anything still lived here and the beast crap out there isn’t fresh at all. And, since there doesn’t seem to be anything stashed in here, I don’t think it’ll be coming back any time soon.” 

Karkat shrinks back a bit from his annoyed tone and silently berates himself. Why does he have to keep questioning the guy? So far, he’s the only reason why Karkat is even alive. 

“Sorry,” Karkat murmurs as he heads for the pile of leaves and tall grass they had collected for a makeshift bed. It’s not the most comfortable thing, and the two always end up waking up from nightmares, but it’s better than the hard earth. Signless has even draped his cloak over it, making it more pleasant for the two of them to lay on.

Signless flops down and heaves a sigh. Karkat immediately tenses; great, he’s annoyed him. Why does he have to be such a pain in the ass? Why can’t he just help Signless out instead of being such a burden? Signless would probably already be over the mountains and closer to possible civilization without Karkat dragging his progress to a crawl.

The thought hangs heavy inside Karkat and makes him feel heavy as he goes to lay down. As soon as Karkat starts to straighten out he has to bite back a hiss. Being slumped over all night has left his back and shoulders sore, and laying on the hard earth isn’t doing much for them. He shifts a little, feels the burn, and... Wait. Maybe that sigh Signless gave wasn’t from annoyance.

“Do your shoulders hurt?” He can barely see Signless as they lay in the half light.

“Like a bitch,” Signless grunts. 

The cogs in Karkat’s head whirl. He can help with this, he knows he can. Something tells him he can fix that, because he knows something about massaging. How? Well, those memories are faded and unreachable, but the knowledge is there, he knows that at least.

“Here,” Karkat says as he gets up, his voice strained. “Lay on your stomach.”

“Why?” Signless looks over at him and Karkat can just barely see the confused look on his face.

“Because you’ve kept my sorry ass alive for the past few days and if this is the only thing I can do to thank you for it then I am going to fucking do it, or so help me, I will explode from guilt and the inability to be anything else but a burden.” The words come out a little more forcefully than he means them to; not that he’s ever been good at keeping them from being forceful. 

“You’re not a burden,” Signless murmurs as he rolls onto his belly.

Karkat gives a shaky breath before he climbs up and straddles Signless’s back. Signless’s odd shoulderless jumpsuit makes it easy for his fingers to sink into the flesh of Signless’s shoulders. The flesh is tough, but his fingers manage to push their way into it. 

“Dang,” Signless sighs. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Yeah,well...” Karkat feels his face warm as his fingers go to work. He is guided by the light that enters the cave, which allows him to see more detail with every passing minute. Even here at the back of the den it still gets somewhat bright, like being out at sunrise.

“Lower,” Signless grunts and Karkat does his best to do so, though Signless’s clothing is in the way. Karkat pushes it down a little, or at least he tries. He’s about to ask that Signless do something when Signless suddenly does a one armed pushup. Karkat lets out a little squeak as his knees leave the ground and he hears a zipper go down. 

“Try it now.” Signless lays back down.

“Give me a little warning next time,” Karkat grumbles as he pulls the cloth away from Signless’s skin. It goes easily and he is able to get at Signless’s middle back. He keeps kneading at the muscle, doing his best to loosen it under Signless’s thick skin. Feeling Signless under his hands makes him feel warm; the heat from the sun outside doesn’t help.

“One sec.” Karkat goes to remove his sweater. “It’s fucking hot in here.”

“Agreed,” Signless murmurs. “You don’t have to keep going if-”

“Nah-ah,” Karkat cuts in as he pulls the sweater off and throws it on the bed pile. “I’ve barely made a fucking dent in your flesh. Your muscles are tougher than drone armor.” Karkat goes back to his task and Signless doesn’t protest. Instead, Signless lets out a few grunts and small sounds of pleasure. They make Karkat’s face heat and his groin twitch, but he manages to focus on the task at hand. At least, until he pushes a long press into the side of Signless’s shoulder. When he does, Signless lets out a deep, lengthy moan that makes Karkat’s hands stutter to a halt.

Both of them stay perfectly still as Karkat pants a little. His bulge pushes behind it’s bone sheathing, which begs to split and release him and expose his nook. Karkat tries to fight it as he stays straddling Signless, but when Signless shifts under him it cracks open from the gentle friction.

“Uh,” Signless says before clearing his throat. “Well...shit.” 

“I-I’m guessing you like it?” Karkat asks tentatively. 

“What do you think?” Signless looks over his shoulder and Karkat can see that his cheeks are just a tad darker than the rest of his skin. Karkat’s sheathing fully splits and he knows he only has a few moments to get his pants off before he starts staining them with genetic material. From the groan Signless had made, Karkat can assume he’s having the same problem.

Karkat raises up on his knees and drops his hands to his groin. Signless watches over his shoulder before, slowly, rolling over. Karkat has to shift to stand on his knees to accommodate the movement, but it doesn't stop his hands. By the time Signless is on his back, Karkat has his zipper down and is balancing on one knee. He reaches back to toss off his ratty shoes before he gets his pants off. Karkat’s entire body is shaking as he does so and he almost falls. Signless grabs Karkat’s waist and steadies him. The friction of hands on Karkat’s naked skin sends a jolt through him and straight to his bulge. It twitches in the warm air and gently writhes against itself and Karkat’s belly.

“You sure?” Signless questions, his eyes doing their best to focus on Karkat’s face and not his groin. 

Karkat doesn’t trust his voice. He knows it will crack and then Signless will stop. At least, that’s his brain’s process. So instead of using his voice, he uses his hands and goes to undo the rest of the Signless’s ridiculously long zipper. 

Signless’s hands stay at Karkat’s waist. His eyes comb over Karkat while Karkat’s eyes stay on the zipper. The zipper is so long that Karkat has to shuffle back a bit to get it down passed Signless’s groin. Signless lets Karkat’s waist go, though his hands still hang in the air. 

Karkat pulls the zipper down fully and his eyes go wide.

“Fuck.” The word slips passed his lips as he looks at Signless’s groin. The bulge he has unleashed makes his nook clench. That’s not going to fit, but at the same time, he wants it to fit. He wants to take every incredible inch and see if it can curl all the way to the back of his nook. 

“You don’t have to do this, Karkat,” Signless says again. His voice has a strain to it that makes Karkat’s body shudder.

“Not sure if you’ve noticed,” Karkat replies as he shuffles forward on his knees. “But my bulge is just as ready as yours is, and if I can fucking give you this, then I’m going to.” 

Signless gives a chuckle at that. 

“Alright,” he says. “You’re in charge then.”

Karkat blanches.

“What?”

“You’re in charge.” Signless’s hands return to Karkat’s waist and help guide him forward. “You tell me if it hurts, you let me know when you can’t take anymore, and you pull off whenever you need to.” His fingers push gentle circles into Karkat’s sides as he speaks. “I’m not going to lie, you put me in charge and I am more likely to break you than pleasure you.” 

Karkat’s face heats, because he’s not sure if that sounds like a bad thing. He doesn’t get to mentally focus on that sentence for long though, because Signless’s bulge wraps with his. Karkat’s eyes shut and his breathing comes ragged as their bulges intertwine and writhe together.

Signless’s size is even more apparent as it wraps around Karkat, stroking his bulge before pushing upwards. Karkat’s bulge helps guide the larger one between the seed flaps of his nook and he tenses. Karkat waits to feel the larger bulge peirce up into him, but instead Signless pauses.

“W-why do you want to do this?” Signless pants as Karkat’s bulge tries to pull him in.

“I-I want to be u-useful,” he breathes, unable to filter out his thoughts with the promise of pressure between his legs.

Signless’s bulge stops moving altogether.

“Karkat,” he says, voice soft. “You’ve been nothing but use-”

“Don’t fucking lie,” Karkat hisses past a lump in his throat. “I’ve barely done shit.” He sits back a little and his bulge tries to urge Signless inside. “At least this way, I’m helping you, and...well…” His face heats as he gasps against the barest press of Signless inside him. “I’d lie if I said I hadn't thought about this.”

“So, you want this?” Signless asks him. Karkat can hear how badly he is straining to keep from just pushing up into him.

Karkat feels his face blush before he gives a small nod.

“Yes,” he tells him. “I do.”

Karkat’s eyes go wide as Signless fills him and keeps filling him. His legs shake as he falls forwards, his hands bracing on Signless’s chest while Signless keeps a hold of his waist. Even up on his knees, Karkat is filled with more than he expects, and his hips canter upwards on their own accord. 

“S-shit,” Signless pants. His bulge probes deeper and Karkat lets out a little cry. Karkat’s bulge wraps around what is still outside of him and squeezes it. Karkat feels Signless shudder and then moans when the bulge inside him flicks. Already it is deeper than he thought it could go; twining and curling inside his nook. It follows the spiral left, deeper than anything Karkat has even inserted into himself-at least to his knowledge-and alights on sensors he didn’t know he had. 

Karkat’s legs part, his hips go down, and he sits back on Signless’s bulge. A moment later he shoots upwards as more bulge than he was expecting suddenly slides inside. It’s too much, pushing deep into a painful area; his nook becomes much too narrow for the bulge to fit properly. Karkat pants as only an inch or so stays inside him.

“See,” Signless pants as he rubs Karkat’s side. “I told you it was better this way.” There is no malice or chiding in his tone, but it still rubs Karkat the wrong way somehow. He knows that it is utterly stupid to be upset by the fact that he can’t take the other fully, because physically it is impossible. He’d have to go through another molting, maybe even two, before he would even have a chance of taking Signless deeper. 

Yet the soft hands on his sides make Karkat want to try. 

Looking down at Signless, Karkat slides back down and feels his chest swell a bit at the surprised look that Signless gives him. He takes inch after inch into his nook, and this time, when Signless gets to the narrow portion, Karkat pauses and breathes. 

“You don’t have to take it all,” Signless pants. “You could hurt yourse-”

“Let me try,” Karkat cuts in quickly, his voice a tad higher than he wants to acknowledge. He takes a deep breath and with a steady voice repeats, “Just fucking let me try.”

Signless says nothing as Karkat continues to move downwards. His bulge holds fast to Signless’s, keeping it from slipping in deeper than he wants it too. This deep, his nook is clenched tight and it takes a while for the rings of muscles to relax enough for the tip of Signless’s bulge to wriggle past. It doesn’t help that the thickness of Signless is spreading the entrance of his nook almost painfully wide; setting sensor after sensor ablaze with an almost painful pleasure. Karkat takes deep breaths and works on relaxing as much as he can. The hands on his sides spasm against his skin and he can hear Signless’s pants echoing in the den. 

Karkat focusses on those harsh, uneven sounds and finds himself leaning forwards. The movement makes both of them groan as the bulge inside him shifts with the position. Karkat’s forehead touches against Signless’s chest as he braces his forearms on either side of Signless’s torso and relaxes into the position. He stays on all fours above the other, keeping his ass somewhat in the air while his bulge wraps around what is left outside of his nook. This way Karkat is able to steady himself and there is no way that Signless can accidentally jam himself all the way in. 

He can feel Signless flicking against something inside that Karkat had thought about the moment he had seen Signless’s size. The end of his nook. Beyond it lies organs that have since become obsolete due to the imperial drones, though that isn’t what Karkat is thinking about; Karkat’s more focused on the fact that he has something that deep inside.

“Wow,” he manages, his voice thick as he feels the barest moisture in his eyes. He’d lie if he said there wasn’t some pain, though it isn’t enough for him to pull off. With each wiggle of Signless inside him it actually lessens a bit, making it easier to deal with. It’s only when Signless’s hips buck up gently on instinct that there is a flare of the less desirable sensation.

“Karkat,” Signless says thickly, his fingers tight over Karkat’s grub scars. “I need you to move, or to let me know I can move, because I don’t think I can wait much longer before I-” Karkat can hear the thick swallow that follows. 

“Before you what?” His voice trembles with the words because he knows what. If he doesn’t give Signless something soon then he’s going to do what Karkat knows the elders of their species do; take what they need.

“Y-you need to lead me Karkat,” Signless pants. The words are followed by a sharp thrash of his bulge that makes Karkat gasp. The sound must resonate with something in Signless, because he does it again. 

“Please,” Signless begs. “Just. Fuck.” The words are staccatos as the bulge in Karkat begins to move in quick, side to side thrashes as Karkat’s brain whirls. He needs more time to adjust; he can’t take it yet, he knows that he can’t. His muscles are still too tense and each thrash takes away a little more pleasure and edges on a little more pain.

“Karkat.” His name comes out almost as a snarl and self preservation kicks in despite the discomfort. 

Karkat’s hips roll down, and for a moment Signless is pushed right up against the back of his nook. He clenches his teeth, and lets out a whimper through his nose as his hips raise back, putting more distance between his hips and Signless’s. It only makes Signless’s bulge slide out a mere inch or two, but it leaves them both panting as he thrashes inside Karkat. 

For a moment Karkat is frozen as he relishes the loss of pressure so deep. Karkat feels an echo of bliss as the bulge inside him rubs against the walls of his nook. The growl that rumbles under him jolts Karkat into moving again and his hips repeat the motion. Karkat finds his hands turning from the dirt floor and pushing into Signless’s sides as his hips hump back against the bulge inside him. Karkat jolts each time Signless goes too deep and makes a choking sound as the pain recedes into pleasure. 

“Come on,” Signless pants, his hands clenching at Karkat’s sides in bruising patterns. A few times they shoot to his hips, trying to push him down for a moment before quickly letting go when Karkat gives a pained gasp.

Karkat pushes his cheek to Signless’s chest, his arms gripping at him as Karkat’s upper body pushes down to help his lower body shift higher. It helps some and soon there is more pleasure than pain with each rock of his hips. The new angle makes it so that Signless can’t get as deep, but it doesn’t mean he can’t thrash.

“Fuck!” The word comes out as a sharp bark before Karkat presses his gasping mouth against Signless’s chest. The bulge inside him repeats the movement, running over nerves as Karkat’s hips push back on their own accord, losing the rhythm he had created. 

“There huh?” Signless pants as his bulge pushes against the side of Karkat’s nook and rubs. Karkat lets out a high cry as his hips jolt and instinctively push down. The tip of the bulge inside of him curls back on itself, rubbing over the sensitive inner walls, and Karkat finds himself unable to do much more than make a gurgling cry at how wonderful it feels. Yes, Signless is still almost too deep, but with the tip knotting back on itself, his bulge is stretching a part of Karkat that isn’t too painful. Karkat finds himself scratching at Signless’s sides as he tries to force the bulge inside him to repeat the movement.

“So you don’t mind it thick,” Signless pants. “Good.” The bulge inside Karkat suddenly corkscrews, making itself thicker inside him as it winds itself up. It spreads him wider, but doesn’t push nearly as deep. Karkat finds himself crying out strings of nonsensical curses as his own bulge frantically winds and presses against Signless’s, seeking more friction and something warm. The tip of Karkat’s bulge finds its way inside Signless’s nook and the two moan as he shoves the barest inch or so inside.The two writhe against and inside of one another; Signless pushing deep enough to make Karkat cry out and Karkat’s bulge stimulating as much of Signless’s nook as it can. 

“Fuck,” Signless pants. “We need a bu-”

“I’m the bucket,” Karkat bites out against Signless’s chest. “Use me.”

The bulge inside him stills at the words and Karkat gives a cry at the los of friction. 

“Yes,” Signless groans as Karkat’s hips move in search of more sensation. 

Karkat lets out a cry as the bulge inside him shoves in as far as the position will let it go, the tip pressing to the back of his nook, and thrashes. A moment later, and it goes completely rigid. Karkat gives a choked gasp as he feels the heat of Signless’s genetic material release inside him. At first, it feels like it will start sliding down past Signless’s bulge. Then Karkat feels the end of his nook spread open almost painfully and the fluids begin to fill him instead. 

“Oh fuck,” Karkat pants as his own bulge thrashes, his body unable to understand the new feeling. The bulge inside him keeps pumping into him and the constant pulse and heat brings Karkat to a whimpering climax. His bulge paints the outside of Signless’s legs red as the two gasp and shudder in orgasm, their bodies tight as Karkat is filled and Signless coated.

When the bulge inside Karkat finishes pumping and goes soft, Signless lets out a sigh that reverberates through Karkat. It is purely one of relaxation and the bulge inside Karkat retracts slowly, leaving Karkat panting and gripping at Signless as his body remembers what it is like to be empty. Genetic material spills over Karkat’s thighs as Signless pulls out. When it fully slips from Karkat, he collapses on top of Signless. Both of their bulges retreat back into their bodies, sealing behind their bone sheathing. They lay panting, their bones made of rubber as they feel the heat outside slowly ebb into the den. It won’t get too hot, but with the two of them so warm from their pailing it is already becoming uncomfortable.

Karkat goes to move off of Signless and the larger troll helps him. They are both shaking, Karkat more so than Signless, and when he is laid down next to him he feels another slight gush of Signless’s material ooze its way out from between his sheathing. 

“Are you okay?” Signless asks as Karkat touches his hands to his lower belly. It is warmer compared to the rest of him and Karkat feels confused at the sensation.

“Y-yeah,” Karkat replies as he tries to adjust to the feeling. “Just...sticky.” Karkat looks down at himself and sees all the red painted over both his and Signless’s lower bodies. He has a sudden strong desire to find the closest pond and spend a few hours in it. Problem is, if they try and do that...well they’re as good as cooked. 

“I did not think this through,” Karkat murmurs as he wipes at the mess on his groin.

Signless laughs a little and pulls Karkat closer. They lay side by side, barely touching as their bodies radiate heat. 

“It was worth it though,” Signless murmurs as he pushes a little kiss to Karkat’s temple. One of his hands push gently against Karkat’s lower belly. Karkat lets out a strange little noise as he feels the material inside him shift.

“What?” Signless asks. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” Karkat replies as he looks down at himself. “I’m just...really full.” 

Signless looks down at Karkat’s stomach and spreads his hand. Karkat makes the same odd sound as the fingers push down.

In the quiet that follows, he hears the slick noise of Signless’s bone sheathing shift, and wonders just how much more material his body can hold.


	2. Being Used

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Immediately after Karkat makes himself useful he finds that Signless needs more than he originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second commission for this story. More of the warnings apply to this chapter. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> If you would like to commission a story, CLICK HERE to learn more about my commissions. Or, if you would prefer, support me on Patreon where you can get sneak peeks at chapters, extra content, and a story created just for you.

Karkat lays very still. Something instinctive tells him not to move, because if he does, he’s not sure he’s going to like what happens. Signless still has his hand splayed over Karkat’s stomach; the fingers twitching against his flesh. He can hear the slick slide of Signless’s bulge rubbing between his thighs. 

“Signless?” It comes out as a squeak. The larger troll’s response is to push his face into Karkat’s shoulder and breathe deeply while his hand pushes down. Karkat lets out a little gasp of discomfort as more of Signless’s material is forced out of the organ inside him. The fingers over his belly slide down between his thighs and Karkat finds himself panting as teeth graze his shoulder and a finger pushes against his bone sheath. 

A whimper escapes him as Signless presses between the slit in the bone plates. A trickle of material slips out of Karkat. Signless’s fingers rub at the sticky mess between Karkat’s legs and gives a slight growl. The finger that pushes at his plating ventures deeper.

Karkat’s voice hitches as a claw drags over his highly sensitive insides. Against his thigh he can feel Signless’s bulge painting a sticky line over his flesh. The finger inside him swirls around, pushes, and Karkat is startled when Signless sits up a little. Signless puts his other hand back down on Karkat’s belly and pushes while his finger stays twitching inside him. Karkat can’t help the little noises that his throat makes as the material trickles over his sensitive insides, swirled around by the finger at his entrance. Even his bulge tries to revive some; slipping partially out of his bone sheathing to lazily press against Signless’s wrist and curl around his thumb.

“What are you doing?” Karkat finally asks. He has no idea what’s going on as Signless continues to push at his stomach. Karkat can feel a sticky puddle spreading between his legs.

“Want to see how much I filled you,” Signless replies. His eyes are trained on Karkat’s lower body, which makes Karkat’s face go red. Why is that so fascinating? Signless has to have done with someone else, right?

“I doubt I hold as much as someone who's gone through another pupation,” Karkat pants as his hips jolt. 

“I wouldn’t know,” Signless murmurs, face still completely entranced by Karkat’s lower body. Karkat can still hear Signless’s bulge sliding through the material that paints the older trolls thighs. 

“Oh, right,” Karkat murmurs.

“No, I mean, I don’t think I ever have. Filled someone that is.” Signless’s voice battles to keep some amount of embarrassment out of it while the strange growl clings to the words. On the next push down he curls his fingers and Karkat gives a little cry. 

“Sh-shit, so you’re saying you never used someone as a pail?” Karkat stammers. 

“I’m saying I’m not really sure how much I’ve pailed.” The finger slips from Karkat and drags over the outer edges of his bone sheath. Karkat shudders as his bulge tightens around Signless’s wrist.

“B-but you're older than me.”

“Not by much.”

“At least a few sweeps.” Karkat shudders as the finger traces the sensitive flesh just beyond the sheathing. “You’d have to have already filled a few buckets.”

“Exactly. I filled the buckets not my partner..”

Karkat’s head reals. That make sense to him but...“Shouldn’t you have, well, more experience than that?”

“Are you saying I don’t have enough?” Signless growls. “Because I believe you enjoyed that.” A finger suddenly curls inside Karkat.

Karkat’s heart jumps and his mouth shuts tight. Shit, shit what’s he doing? He’s questioning him again and about this of all things?

“I-I did!” Karkat stammers. His brain races as he tries to backpedal. 

“Really?” His voice is tight. “Because if you’re not satisfied I’d be more than happy to make sure you are.” He leans forwards and Karkat’s heart jumps. He needs to be useful. If he isn’t useful then what good is he? He’s dead weight that can only make a fire when pissed off and create a single strand of rope per hour. 

“Do you want to go again?” Karkat’s voice shakes as he asks it, because to be honest he’s not sure his body can. His legs feel like jello, his lower body aches, and just the finger flicking around his nook is causing spasms to shoot through him. Yet he’s willing. Some sort of masochistic instinct tells him that he’ll do anything for this older troll. He’s the reason Karkat is even alive right now, and while he doesn’t doubt this is going to be somewhat painful, the idea that Signless wants him so much excites him.

Signless’s voice is a gruff whisper. “Yes.”

The single word runs up Karkat’s spine like ice water. He can feel every nerve in him stand on end. Signless wants him again; not sleep, or food, he wants _Karkat_. 

Maybe he is doing something right for this troll after all.

Karkat gives a small nod. “Okay.” He goes to sit up and lets out a weird grunt as his lower body bends. More material suddenly pools out between his legs. He tries to shift his legs and finds them to be made out of both rubber and lead at the same time.

“Um…” Karkat tries again. The most he gets from his legs are sluggish movements. 

A hand gently presses to his shoulder..

“Lay down,” Signless murmurs into his ear. 

Karkat’s heart jumps.

“Okay, just...go slow, please. Fifteen minutes isn’t much of a break from...” Karkat swallows as he looks down at Signless’s bugle. “That.” Signless is going to be in control. He’ll be the one deciding the speed, how deep he goes, and all of the other possible factors. Karkat’s heart finds its way into his throat while his bulge trashes against his thigh.

“No promises,” Signless says as he moves to be above Karkat. “But you let me know if it’s too much and I‘ll...” He takes a deep breath through his nose as his bulge slides along Karkat’s retracting plating. “I’ll figure something out.” 

Karkat attempts to respond but doesn’t get a chance as his mouth is claimed by Signless’s. A few syllables of sound escape from their mouths as Signless’s bulge tangles with Karkat’s. When the tip of his bulge leaves to push against Karkat’s nook, Karkat chokes a little on his own mewlings. 

The stimulation helps Karkat’s body relax some. The second Signless feels the muscles lag he pushes the tip of his bulge into Karkat. It’s much too quick and Karkat can’t help the hiss of pain. Thankfully, Signless doesn’t attempt to fill Karkat up and instead just twirls the first couple of inches inside Karkat. Despite how sensitive the walls of Karkat’s nook are, the touches end up being somewhat pleasurable. On instinct his legs fall further apart to allow Signless easier access. 

Signless’s bulge begins to thrust inside Karkat; each press going a little deeper. He gently bites at Karkat’s lips as Karkat pants below him; bracing himself on either side of Karkat’s head with his forearms so he isn’t lying fully on top.

“Going deeper,” Signless tells him a short while later. It isn’t a question but a statement, and the command behind it sends new shudders through Karkat.

“O-okay,” Karkat stammers against Signless’s shoulder. His hands come up to tighten around Signless’s neck.

Karkat’s stuttered word and movement spurs Signless on and his bulge quickly goes to sheath itself inside Karkat. Signless slides in much too fast and doesn’t curl his bulge into a corkscrew like he did before. In barely a second Karkat finds himself clawing at Signless’s back as he gasps and tries to get away from him.

“Too much,” he grits out as his hands try to get his message across. 

“Shit,” Signless says as he quickly pulls back out. “I forgot, girth not length.” His words are unsteady, yet they still hold the tinge of a growl. “I’ll fix it.” 

Karkat nods in response as the bit of bulge still inside him quickly starts to corkscrew itself. A moment later and it begins to wind its way inside Karkat with a trembling slowness. Karkat takes deep breaths as he tries to focus more on the gentle pleasure than the pain. The position lets more of Signless fill Karkat than before and the thick twist of his bulge reaches back further than it did when Karkat was on top. As it spreads his deeper muscles, Karkat feels more material shift inside him. To his surprise he finds the bulge inside him moving more smoothly as material spills out. Each time Signless rolls his hips down more is forced from Karkat. He isn’t complaining with how much it helps.

Signless’s face drops down to Karkat’s shoulder. His teeth graze over his neck and Karkat finds it hard to breathe. Signless’s teeth are warm points on Karkat’s flesh that send a prickling sensation through him with each gasp. If Signless were to sink his teeth into him he would be done; the tendons, veins, and arteries of his neck would not survive. It reminds Karat that the troll above him is nothing but lean muscle under thick skin. He can feel it move with each press into Karkat; the gentle bunching of his thighs brushing against the inside of Karkat’s, how his elbows slide on the dirt floor and push down on Karkat’s shoulders with each thrust, and he can feels Signless’s back strain and contract with each move. 

Singless’s bulge curls and pushes up against the retainer organ deep inside Karkat. He can feel it pressing and nudging at it which allows more fluid to escape and lubricate his insides. Each press sends tiny shocks through Karkat, both painful and pleasant as his body learns to deal with the new girth. 

“Signless,” he wheezes after a few moments of the steady pace. Karkat can feel the tension collecting in the other’s shoulders and how his thrusts are slowly becoming more and more jerky. The bulge inside him is having issues staying wound together, and now and again Karkat feels gentle stabs of pain when it lengthens too much. “Y-you can use me.”

Signless pulls back from where he is worrying a mark into Karkat’s flesh. “What?”

“Please,” Karkat says as he feels his face flush. “I know I’m not going to...well. Fuck. I don’t think I can pail again.” He feels his body flush at the admittance. True, it usually isn’t hard for trolls to go more than once, but right now Karkat’s is too sensitive and sore. While he’s sure Signless could find a way to make him cum, he wants to keep the use of his legs if possible.

“Are you sure?” Signless asks him, his voice low as his hips slow a little. 

Karkat nods as he squeezes his eyes shut. He can’t help but wonder if he’s insulting him somehow with this. It’s not Signless’s fault. He’s just way too fucking sensitive to...okay, so maybe that _is_ Signless’s fault, but he’s not about to tell him that. 

“Then I’ll try to make it quick.” 

Karkat isn’t sure what he means by that but it only takes a second for him to understand. Signless’s bulge suddenly starts to thrash more than before and his hips move much harder. Karkat’s hands immediately grab at his shoulders.

“Wait,” he gasps as Signless’s body moves inside his. His own bulge writhes and tries to wrap around Signless’s. “I-I can’t-”

“Little more,” Signless cuts in as he keeps up the fast pace. “Karkat. Fuck. I.” He kisses him hard with lips, tongue, and teeth. Karkat’s mouth meets them with pants and whimpers as his body attempts to adjust. His claws grip hard at Signless’s back and he knows he’s drawing blood. 

“Signless.” The word is a mewl as Signless lengthens out inside him. His legs wrap tight around Signless’s hips as his body tries to slow the pounding pace. His torso attempts to curl forwards, but Signless’s body is unyielding. Karkat can’t move more than a few inches in any which way with Signless pinning him, which leaves his body taut and trapped beneath the larger troll.

It takes only a short while longer for Signless to utter a growl that sounds something like Karkat’s name. His bulge then pushes right up against the back of Karkat’s nook before he releases. This time when he cums the material pumps inside of Karkat with little issue. Karkat gives small gasps as the heat fills his lower belly again and he does his best to keep the moisture in his eyes in check.

It takes a little less time for him to fill Karkat, though Signless does stay buried inside him a while longer. His bulge gently presses against the opening, almost as if urging the fluid inside to stay. It’s soothing in a way and Karkat’s claws release from Signless’s back, his legs fall open, and his body slowly uncurls. 

_It could have been worse,_ something says in his mind. _So much worse._ He shudders at the thought. He’s not going to doubt the knowledge. Signless could have torn him apart, taken him like that the entire time, yet he had only done so when Karkat had told him he wasn’t going to get anything out of it.

A shudder rushes through him when the bulge starts to pull out. As soon as it recedes Karkat feels his sheathing shut and traps the new amount of material inside. It sits warm inside him, adding to what little was left and making him feel even fuller than before. Beneath his sheathing he feels a gentle trickle that wants to escape. 

“Are you-” Signless starts.

“I’m okay,” Karkat manages. 

Signless nods as he move off of Karkat. He lands heavily next to him, his body covered in a slightly red sheen of sweat. His chest heaves gently as he lays on his side with his closed eyes facing Karkat.

Karkat watches him for a moment before he tries to shift. Everything is sore, even the material filled sack inside of him. With a slight groan, he manages to roll on his side, away from Signless, and curls up slightly. His entire body feels sticky and bruised and the heat from outside doesn’t help. There is no lingering of orgasm anymore; just the heat of Signless deep inside him.

“Karkat,” Signless says gently as he rests a hand on Karkat’s shoulder. 

Karkat can’t help but let out a little shudder. He fears the sound of the other’s sheathing opening again, but the sound doesn’t follow. Instead, he feels Signless snuggle closer to him.

“Thank you, Karkat.” The words come out a bit stilted, but they still make Karkat’s eyes open and his chest ache. “I know that couldn’t have been the most...pleasurable thing for you, but I couldn’t… You’re just…”

“Useful?” Karkat asks, and he can’t keep the hope out of his voice.

The body behind him suddenly pushes up right against his. It’s a little uncomfortable with the heat from outside, but Karkat finds he enjoys the touch as Signless wraps an arm around him.

“You’re more than just useful, Karkat.” Signless kisses the back of his neck. “You’re helpful, and kind, and you just did something for me that I could never have even dreamed of.” His lips ghost over his shoulders. 

“Well, you’re the one keeping me alive,” Karkat mumbles. 

Signless pauses in the gentle movement of his mouth. “Is that the only reason you wanted to do this?”

Karkat feels his heart drop. “N-no,” he stammers as he tries to move to face Signless. He ends up being held still as Signless tries to shush him. Karkat stops moving and instead faces the cave wall.

“I did it because I wanted to,” Karkat tells him softly. “Because I’ve _wanted_ it.” 

Karkat feels a smile against his shoulder as Signless holds him tight.

“Good,” Signless murmurs into his ear. “Now go to sleep. As soon as dusk comes we can head towards the river.”

Karkat nods as he tries to finds a comfortable place both in Signless’s arms and on the floor. After a while he gives up, shuts his eyes, and lets his upper body rest on the bed of dried grass. It doesn’t take long before Karkat falls asleep to an almost uncomfortable warmth against his back.

\-----  
Karkat isn’t sure if it’s Signless’s heat or the sound of scratching that wakes him up, but the scratching sure as hell keeps him awake. It’s a constant digging that will stop for a few moments before starting again and it seems like it’s coming from right next to…

“The beast is back!” Karkat screeches as he attempts to scurry away from whatever the hell just brushed against the underside of his foot. 

Signless shoots upwards as Karkat attempts to climb under him. There is a shout of pain as Signless’s skull makes its acquaintance with the low ceiling and Karkat finds himself trying to burrow down into their bed.

“Karkat,” Signless bites out as Karkat throws dried grass and leaves every which way.

“I told you it was going to fucking eat us, I told you!”

“Karkat,” Signless sighs as Karkat finds there is only enough grass to cover his top half. Panicked laughter spills from him as he looks around to try and find a way past the beast and out of the hole.

“Oh for fuck sake, Karkat,” Signless snaps as he grabs the smaller troll around the middle and pulls him out of the straw. Karkat’s response is to thrash and give a panicked scream before he is forced into Signless’s lap. He is then forced to face the beast he is trying to get away from. For a moment Karkat doesn’t see anything; he’s just in a dim hole with the last few strands of sunlight fighting to make their way inside. If not for the light he would have never seen the fuzzy little squeak beast sitting wide eyed at the entrance of the hole. 

“Are you fucking kidding me,” he deadpans as Signless gives a grunt of laughter behind him. Karkat’s whole body goes limp in Signless’s arms as he glares up at the tiny, furry creature.

“It probably buried some food in here and came to find them.” Signless chuckles. “Either that or it smelled us and got curious.”

“Yeah, well…” Karkat attempts to hunch forward but Signless holds him close. It makes his arms hang almost fully straight as he slumps into Signless’s hold. “We need to make a door.”

Signless gives a laugh as he leans down and gives Karkat a squeeze. Karkat lets out a slightly distressed noise as the material inside him suddenly shoots down through his nook and begins to puddle around his lower body.

“We won’t be staying that much longer,” Signless tells him.

“Good,” Karkat grumbles. “Because I don’t think we’re going to want to sleep on this floor anymore.” He shifts in the puddle below him and feels his body ache. Without the adrenaline he can feel every sore spot and bruise left by both the hard floor and Signless. 

Behind him, Signless shifts as well. “Uh...remind me not to squeeze you so hard after pailing.”

“Remind you!” Karkat snaps as he jerks his head back to look up at him. “How can you forget that you just filled bodily organs they barely even reference in online academia anymore!?”

Signless blinks. “What’s online academia?”

Karkat’s mouth flaps a little. “I...I’m not sure.”

Signless raises a brow. “Can you remember anything else?”   
Karkat’s response is to frantically rub his hands through his hair before slouching down again. “I don’t know…” he mutters. “Bits and pieces maybe but right now I can’t think when I’m, when we’re...can we go bathe please? I feel like I’ve been chewed on by one of those sea beasts and then belched back out on dry land.” Everything about him is sticky from both sweat and material. He can feel it has dried in places and it pulls at his skin with every small movement. 

Signless gives a chuckle. “You kind of smell like it too.”

“And who’s fault is that?” 

“I don’t know. Who’s is it?” 

Karkat goes ramrod straight at the tone of voice. It’s the dark growling tone that makes his brain scream, ‘SHUT UP OR HE WILL EAT YOU’, though not necessarily in a bad way.

“C-come on,” Karkat mumbles as Signless gives him a slight squeeze again. “We should really go to the river. You need to drink something.”

“Do you count?” Signless dips his hand down between Karkat’s legs at the question. “I’m sure there is plenty left to drink.” Karkat’s response is a gentle shudder as his bone plating fights against itself. He’s too sore to do anything right now, he knows that, but that doesn’t mean shit with that tone of voice in his ear. 

“After how much you squeezed out, probably not,” he murmurs. His cheeks blaze at the words, but they do pull some sort of dark chuckle out of the troll behind him.

“Guess we’ll have to just fill you back up.” He nuzzles the back of Karkat’s neck. “No one likes an empty pail.” 

Karkat tries to catch Signless in the face with an elbow. Instead Signless holds him tighter and presses a kiss to both horns. The squeeze forces more material from him and Karkat can’t help the small groan that escapes his throat.

“Maybe this is one pail that likes to be emptied.” Signless keeps one arm around Karkat while he puts his other hand between his thighs. Karkat tries to hide his face in Signless’s bicep as he is squeezed again and material flows out onto Signless’s fingers. Karkat can feel them rub together before slowly rubbing over Karkat’s thigh. The fingers move gently up Karkat’s body before disappearing. There is a slight sucking sound in his ear followed by a hum.

“Come on,” Signless says gently against Karkat’s left horn. “Let’s go finish cleaning you out.”

Karkat can’t tell if his inability to stand is from the day before or what that sentence might mean. 

\-------

Getting to the river wasn’t the hardest thing to do, but with all their new equipment in tow and Karkat’s legs attempting to give out it takes a little longer. The whole way there Karkat feels a trickle of material making its way down his thighs, soaking into his pants as he and Signless hike through the thinning forest. According to Signless it will take at least another night to make it all the way to the mountains, especially with their need to bathe and wash their clothing. 

“Can we bathe yet?” Karkat whines as they keep hiking along the riverbed.

“As soon as we find shelter,” Signless replies over his shoulder. On his back he carries his cape like a backpack. It holds their rope, a few logs, and some sharp items he’s been using as knives. Karkat has a similar pack on his back, though it is only wood lashed together with some of the rope. The wood chafes against the bruises on his back and makes him want to throw the bundle down and just jump into the cool water. He doubts that would go over well, however, and just keeps following Signless. They pass through the trees and down into a gully formed by the river. The sand here is damper than before and every steps makes small sucking sounds. The saturated sand soaks up into a few holes in Karkat’s shoes. Great, now his feet are as damp as his thighs.

“Here we go,” Signless says a short time later as they come to a bend in the river. “This should work for a few days.”

He is referring to a rather decent sized cave off to the side with rock ledges that jut out above the sand. It looks like the cave might fill up with water during the rainy seasons, though now the sand is only damp. 

“You sure that’s going to shelter us from the sun?” Karkat asks as Signless walks inside. 

“I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I?” 

Karkat’s cheeks go red as he walks into the cave. “Having me hike after using me as a bucket might count,” Karkat grumbles as he puts the small pack Signless had made for him on one of the ledges. 

“Are you really that sore?” 

The question has such a sincere tone of worry that Karkat finds himself a bit stunned. To be honest, yes he really is that sore. His thighs feel like he’s been crouched for a weak, his lower belly is something akin to a deflated balloon, and his back has about as many kinks in it as Signless seems to have when it comes to pailing. 

Karkat can’t bring himself to say that though. Even if he is in pain, Signless is still treating him way better than he suspects any other adult would treat him. So instead Karkat stays quiet as he goes about removing his shoes and clothing and prepares to wash both the cloth and himself in the river. 

“Does being filled really hurt you?” 

The question makes Karkat jolt as Signless’s chest pushes up against Karkat’s back. A hand is placed over Karkat’s lower belly.

“N-no,” Karkat stammers. His hips push forwards on their own in search of pressure. “I mean...does it count as pain if I want it?.” 

“Want what?” Signless asks him as he leans forwards. 

Karkat drops his head to try and hide his blush.

“To be your pail.” 

There is a beat of silence before Signless pulls him closer.

“Is that what hurts? Being my pail?”

 _’You’re giant fucking bulge being rammed inside me is what hurts,_ is the first sentence that comes to mind, though it isn’t completely accurate. At least, not with his lower belly pain. Karkat stands thinking about that for a moment as he feels Signless standing nude behind him.

“I think it’s just being filled that much for that long,” Karkat finally says. “It’s like filling up a balloon too full.”

“So you’re saying I could make you pop?” 

Karkat finds himself being pulled back against Signless.

“Y-yeah.”

Signless leans down. “Then next time I’ll have to make sure to empty you a little before we go to sleep.”

Karkat’s stomach falls into his proverbial shoes as Signless spins him around and grips his chin. The kiss that follows has a touch of teeth to it that makes Karkat whimper. The pain in his body feels both sharp and far away as Signless’s other hand dips between his thighs to push up at his plating.

“Do you have an off switch?” Karkat whines as Signless moves to his neck.

“Would you really push it if I did?” 

Karkat shuts his eyes and wraps his arms around Signless’s neck in response because no, no he wouldn’t. Signless lifts Karkat with general ease and wraps his legs around his hips. The position lets more material escape Karkat and he can feel it dripping down onto Signless’s waist. Signless captures Karkat’s mouth and swallows down gasps and groans as he makes his way towards to the river. They do not pause as they wade out. At least not until...

“Shit!” The word shoots from Karkat’s mouth as the cool water reaches his backside. It is such a stark contrast to the heat wrapped around him he can’t help the sudden reaction to try and get away. 

“I thought you wanted to take a dip.” Signless chuckles as he keeps moving out to a deeper part of the stream. The water moves gently around them; the wide bend in the river keeps it from moving too quickly. When they make it to the deepest section in the center Signless stops. He stands and sways gently in the water; sometimes he takes a staggering step with the water’s flow. Karkat feels it swirl in gentle patterns around his thighs and lower belly. It tickles over his plating and Karkat can’t help but let out a sigh when it slides apart. The cool water gently dips inside him, clearing away the leftover material at the entrance to his nook. 

They stay like that for a short while. The water wraps around them, cleans away some of the mess, and removes some of the sweat from their skin. Karkat lets his forehead fall against Signless’s shoulder as his body shudders at the gentle touches from both the river and Signless. The hand supporting his backside gives a squeeze and Karkat lets out a shaky sigh. 

“I think I’m ready for that drink,” Signless murmurs against Karkat’s throat.

Karkat jolts and looks up at Signless in confusion before the hands under his backside suddenly haul him upwards. He flails a little as Signless manhandles him to have his thighs on either side of Signless’s head and his nook presented before Signless’s mouth. Water skims under his ass as Signless squats in the water, allowing the river to handle more of Signless’s weight as Signless holds up Karkat.

“H-hey! You should really drink water,” Karkat stammers as he grips tight to Signless’s skull. Even though his horns are small, they still make decent hand holds.

“I’m sure I’ll get some.” It’s the only warning before Signless’s mouth pushes against Karkat’s nook and starts to suck. 

Karkat’s entire body curls around Signless’s head as he moans and shudders; his bulge paints a sticky pattern on Signless’s face. He can feel the material inside him slide out with each suck before Signless swallows it down. A few times Signless sucks in a mouthful of water before pushing it inside Karkat. The temperature change makes Karkat writhe and gasp before it and what little leftover material inside him is sucked out. The emptiness inside Karkat aches when Signless pulls away. 

“Looks like my little pail likes getting cleaned out.” He gives Karkat a smirk before licking red from his lips. 

“Did...did you swallow all of that?” Karkat’s not sure if the turn in his stomach is nausea or excitement, though at this point both seem to have the same effect.

“What? Is it bad that I like to lick my pail clean?” Signless’s leans forwards and laps a line up Karkat’s nook before making a show of swallowing the red on the tip of his tongue.

Karkat doesn’t respond as his body shivers. His bulge caresses the side of Signless’s face as he does his best to keep it from searching out the heat of Signless’s mouth. 

“I-I knew it was a lot but I didn’t think there would be that much.”

Signless turns to push his mouth against Karkat’s thigh. “It was more than I thought it would be,” he admits. “I think I understand what you meant now.” His lips tickle over the skin of Karkat’s thigh and make Karkat shudder. “Would it feel better for you if I only filled you halfway this time?” 

Karkat’s head jerks to look down at Signless. “W-what?” He asks as he is slowly moved from Signless’s shoulders. 

“I’m sure I’ll get thirsty again,” Signless replies as he submerges Karkat in the river and get his legs back around his waist. Under the water, Karkat’s feet feel a smooth boulder that Signless is perched on. His nook feels the gentle press of Signless’s bulge. 

Karkat stares up the older troll and feels his insides twitch. They feel very empty; very hollow.

“Halfway?” His voice shakes as he says it.

Signless gives a nod. “Halfway.”

Karkat’s hips ache as he shifts closer and his bulge wraps around Signless’s. 

“...Can we maybe see how I do being full again?”

Signless gives him a surprised look. It doesn’t take long before it melts into a sultry grin.

“Sure,” Signless murmurs as his bulge writhes with Karkat’s. “And if it’s too much, I could always go for another drink. Okay?”

“Okay,” Karkat says softly as he guides the bulge forwards. “Fill me up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on the story will be on HIATUS until the commissioner decides if they would like more to the story or not. If not, then this will be moved to finished, if so, the Hiatus mark will be removed when I post chapter 3. I hope you enjoyed these commissions.


	3. Useful Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness, that took longer than I wanted it to. Chapter 4 should come quicker now that my health is better. Was sick a lot the last few months, and mixed with other shorter commissions this one, unfortunately, fell by the wayside for a bit. As of right now, there are at least another 2-3 chapters paid for to finish this commission (depending on how long each chapter is) and they will be coming much quicker. 4 is actually almost done! 
> 
> And as always, if you find something my betas or myself missed, please feel free to let me know!

Karkat wakes up cold and damp, the evening dew and steam from the river having settled on his hair and face. He pulls the cloth on him tight and tries to find Signless’s warmth. 

He doesn’t find it.

“Signless?” Karkat sits up, fully awake with his heart hammering in his chest. Tentatively, as he stands on rubbery legs. Their night in the river had bent him in new ways he hadn’t expected, and as he stands he can feel a trickle of material behind his bone sheathing. He ignores it as he goes to pull on his underpants and looks for the little pile of moss Signless had collected the night before. He finds the clump nearby and shoves it into his underpants. Signless had said it would do a good job sopping up whatever tries to leak out of Karkat. If it saves his clothing, Karkat’s more than happy to give it a shot.

“Signless,” Karkat calls again as he pulls on his pants and tightens the drawstrings. He can tell that he’s having to pull the cloth tighter than before, even with the material in his abdomen. Ignoring his increasing weight loss, Karkat steps away from the sandy cave along the stream. It had kept the more direct rays off of them, that had been true, though Karkat can still feel a slight burning in his flesh from the light that had reached them.The steam caused by the sun had also been uncomfortable, and he had gone in and out of a dreamless sleep and staring between cracked eyelids out into the golden tinged steam.

Karkat walks tentatively out of the cave, his heart starting to pound. Turning slowly, he finds there is no sign of the older troll except for footprints that disappear down into the waterway. He listens to the dark and finds that all he can hear are the insects in the trees and the rustling of tall grass just beyond the river. 

“Signless, where the hell are you,” he calls as loudly as he dares. “You fucking idiot, why did you take off on your own?”

“That how you talk to someone who's bringing you breakfast in bed?” 

Karkat jumps and whirls as the older troll comes around the bend in the river. He’s fully clothed except for his cloak, and his shoes make a slight squish and crunch on the damp sand.

“Are you trying to force me into cardiac arrest?” Karkat snaps as the older troll closes the gap between them. “Because if you keep doing shit like that then you’re going to get your wish.”

“I’m pretty sure if you were going to have a blood pusher episode you would have had one back in the burrow.”

Karkat’s face burns as Signless grins at him.

“Speaking of which, you’ve got to be starving after the last couple of days. Here,” he shoves over a large, thick leaf from the forest that is wrapped around some sort of damp bundle. “These roots are filled with vitamins, carbohydrates, and protein. I saw a small cluster of them yesterday along the riverside. The leaf is good for you too.” Signless takes a leaf from a bundle under his arm and bites into it.

Karkat looks at the twisted, yellow roots and notes there isn’t any dirt left on them. “Did you already wash them?”

Signless gives a chuck.

“I wasn’t about to make you eat dirt.” He walks past Karkat and ducks back into their cave. Karkat looks after him as he holds the roots. This isn’t the first time that Signless has given him food, but what had he said? He was bringing him breakfast in bed? Karkat’s face warms and his heart rate picks up a bit. He’s not sure how to describe it because in no way do those words fit with what his brain is telling him about adults. Weren’t they supposed to be horrible and scary? That’s what whatever tucked away memories are trying to tell him. He shoves those feelings away.

Karkat can hear Signless moving about in the cave as he starts to pack up their gear. Keeping out of the way, he stays outside in the cool air and starts to munch on his roots. They aren’t very flavorful, tasting more like slightly sweet water, but if Signless says that they’re good for him then Karkat’s going to eat every bite. Not that he wouldn’t anyways. He really is starving. 

Signless has told him multiple times that out in the foothills and mountains there isn’t as much to eat. Even before they came to the river, Signless has been strict about how much of their rations they can eat a day if they don’t find anything new. Karkat immediately stops eating at the thought. 

“Should I save some of these?” he calls; not that there is much left to save. 

“No, go ahead,” Signless says as he comes out of the cave with his cloak made back into a bundle for the wood and other supplies. “Those are going to become more plentiful here for a while, so we can stock up while we walk along the river.”

“Oh…” Karkat pauses a little longer as he holds the now meager handful. “Do you want any?”

Signless gives him an odd little smile that has become more prominent since that first night in the burrow. “I already ate mine,” he tells Karkat before coming forwards and planting a kiss between his horns. “Now eat up, and put this on.” He pushes Karkat’s sweater into his chest. “Don’t want you catching cold.”

Karkat grips at the cloth as he watches Signless walk away. Shoving the roots into his mouth, Karkat quickly pulls his shirt on and goes to the cave to pull on his deteriorating shoes. He reaches for his pack of firewood and is surprised when he doesn’t find it.

“Signless,” he calls as he comes back out and jogs to catch up with the older troll. “Where’s my pack?” 

Signless responds by holding out one arm; in his fist he grips Karkat’s bundle. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he tells him as Karkat catches up. “You’re going to be on your knees most of the day, so I want to give your back some kind of break.”

“What?” Karkat jolts a bit at the phrase. His bulge shifts behind his sheathing as certain images pop into his head.

“Digging roots,” Signless tells him as he looks at him out of the corner of his eye. “Or were you thinking of other activities, because if those roots weren’t enough I can find other ways to fill your stomach too.” He gives a wink.

Karkat’s face goes warmer than his sunburn as he does his best to stare at the ground.

“What do these roots look like?” he finally asks as he scans the sandy soil.

Signless gives a laugh before he goes to work teaching Karkat about edible plants as they make their way out of the small river canyon and into the tall grass plains that slope up into the foothills. They stick near the river, the roots easier to find near the edges of the stream, and Karkat turns the hem of his sweatshirt into a makeshift basket as he collects them. Signless also spots a few berry bushes in the fields, and the two hike towards them to see what they can find. Three different types sit in a rather large clump, some of the branches twining together.

“White ones are good as an antiseptic, and those red ones over there are filling but they will give you a stomach ache if you eat more than a handful at a time; they’re really acidic.”

“And the blue?” Karkat asks as he goes to grab a few. Signless’s hand quickly grabs his wrist.

“Highly toxic,” he says as he lowers Karkat’s hand. “There is another type that has a little green nub on the tip that is edible, but you have to be careful not to mistake the two. These ones will kill.” He gently plucks one and shows it to Karkat. It is a single, round berry with the barest dark nub where it was plucked. Signless drops it and rubs his hands on his pants.

“White is good, red is okay, blue is bad,” Karkat murmurs as Signless puts his pack down. There is a slight tearing sound as he pulls off a bit of his cloak, about the breadth of two hands. He does this three more times along the hem until he has four roughly square swatches of cloth. 

“Fill two with each,” he tells Karkat as he reaches back and scratches at his shoulder blade. “I need to go...relieve myself.”

Karkat watches after him before turning to the berries. He picks as many as he can fit into the swatches and ties them together with frayed pieces of rope. When he finishes, Karkat sits by the bushes and waits. 

“Where is he?” he murmurs as he pops a few of the red berries into his mouth. They are very sweet and after a moment he eats a few more. Another four or five later and he forces himself to stop. 

“Last thing he needs is you’re sick ass weighing him down,” he mumbles to himself. Signless hadn’t been kidding, he feels much more full, and Karkat closes his eyes for a moment as he sits hunched over his knees. 

Between his legs he can feel a slight stickiness and knows he’ll have to swap out some of the moss soon or he’s going to need to wash his pants again. He scans around looking for some, though it’s hard to locate in the taller grass. Karkat leaves the pack for a to check the side of the bush. To his delight, he finds just what he’s looking for growing down around the roots. 

Squatting down behind the bushes, he goes about switching out the moss. It is actually quite soft between his fingers and he doesn’t mind it at all when he wears it in his pants. Yeah it feels a bit odd, but it’s better than being sticky.

He tugs his pants up and feels the slight padding against his groin. “That should be enou-”

The sudden gust of hot air over his lower back makes him freeze. For a moment Karkat thinks it may have just been a breeze, but when it comes again he realizes he isn’t nearly that lucky. 

_‘Shit, shit, shit.’_ The mantra plays through his head as he feels whatever is behind him sniff at his back and then press its nose into his backside. It makes him jolt forwards before he spins around. What he finds is not what he expects. 

“Fucking...really?” he asks as he finds what looks to be a woof-beast. It is almost completely white with a slight amount of black on it’s back. It barely comes up to Karkat’s hip and doesn’t seem at all interested in him anymore as it finds the soiled moss on the ground. 

“What? Do you think I taste good too?” he grumbles as he watches the woof-beast scarf up the mess of moss. As the beast sniffs around for more, Karkat tries to figure out the best way to retreat. Slowly would be best, he knows that much, but should he keep watching it or turn away? Having his back to the thing makes him very uneasy, but isn’t staring one down challenging it? Is that even woof-beasts or...Why is it looking at him like that?

“Hey there buddy,” he says gently as he starts to back away. The woof-beast has it’s eyes trained on him. “I’m just going to go on the other side of this thing and-”

The sudden howl the thing lets out makes Karkat stumble back on his ass as his brain realizes he has made quite an error. This is not a woof-beast, this is a howl-beast, and a very small one. In fact, Karkat’s pretty sure this is no more than a grub of a beast, which means…

“Shit,” he squeaks as he hears another howl out on the planes; it is much deeper in tone. The little one lets out another howl before lowering and stalking towards Karkat.

“Karkat?” It’s a bit muffled and far away. He wants to shout back, but he doubts that would be a good idea with this thing in front of him. The howl-beast is moving towards him with its teeth bared and a growl in its throat. If he shouts he’s pretty damn sure he’s dead. 

_Fuck, why didn’t I go with him?_ he asks himself as he tries to figure out the best escape route. His running is going to be shit right now with how sore is lower body is. Yeah the adrenaline coursing through him is going to help some but not as much as he’s going to need.

“Karkat!” comes again. Signless is much closer, so is the other howl. 

With a slight bark, the howl-beast launches itself forwards and Karkat lets out a cry. He rolls to the side and gets himself tangled in the lower branches of the red berry bush. The branches scratch and stab at him, but they’re better than fangs.

“Signless!” he screams out as he scrambles to get out of the bush. His sweater is gripped by brambles that only make his flailing worse. “I’m stuck!” 

He can feet pounding towards him just as teeth bite at his shoe. The tattered soul manages to keep the worse of the things teeth out of his flesh, but that doesn’t mean he stays quiet. A scream erupts from him as he starts to kick at the howl-beast and beats at it with his fists. 

“Let go! Fucking let-” something feels heavy in his hand. “GO!” 

There is a yelp of pain and the howl-beast darts back. Karkat blinks in confusion at the blood that has bloomed on the howl-beast’s muzzle. Then he looks at his hands. He’s holding a sickle. “How in the fu-”

A deep growl pulls his attention from the weapon and he finds a very large, dark-furred howl-beast staring at him through the tall grass. Next to it, the smaller one whimpers as its bluish blood drips from the deep gash on its muzzle. 

He doesn’t even get to let loose a single profanity before the larger one launches at him. He does get to gawk as Signless hits the beast mid-air and knocks it to the side. There is a snarl and Karkat watches as Signless wrestles to keep hold of the howl-beast’s middle. It snaps at him, turning its head to try and snag at his shoulder only to be whipped in the other direction. 

“Run, Karkat!” Signless roars as he tries to fling the howl-beast away. He barely gets it a few feet before it turns and goes for him. Signless’s fists come up, ready to defend. Karkat doesn’t remember blinking, but it’s the only thing that makes sense because where did Signless get those weapons? Apparently Signless doesn’t know either because for a moment he freezes and stares down at them.

“Watch out!” Some sort of muscle memory kicks in and Karkat chucks one of his sickles into a sloppy spin. The point misses its mark, but the thud of the heavy steel on it’s side distracts the howl-beast just long enough for Signless to get his bearings back.

“I said run,” Signless snarls. 

“Fuck you,” Karkat snaps as he tears himself out of the brambles and turns his eyes on the smaller foe. Somewhere in the distance, there is another howl. 

Signless gives a grunt of annoyance but doesn’t get a chance to berate Karkat. He is too busy slashing at fangs and claws that threaten to cut him open. Karkat does his best to tear his eyes away and focus on the younger howl-beast that seems torn between helping the older and dashing into the wild. 

“What, don’t want a meal anymore?” Karkat snaps. He bares his fangs and spreads out his arms. Not enough to leave himself open, but enough to make himself seem bigger. The beast shrinks back. Its blue eyes dart up to his scythe, which is dripping with a tint of the howl-beasts blood, and then back to Karkat. Behind him, Karkat hears a yelp of pain and a cry of rage from Signless. 

“Come on!” Karkat screams at the beast. The smaller howl-beast tucks its tail between its legs, turns, and runs. Karkat watches it go for a moment before he turns back just in time to watch Signless drag his sickle through the other beast's throat. Karkat watches wide-eyed as cerulean blood gushes from the wound and paints over Signless’s chest and arms as he holds the beast back.

“Holy fuck,” Karkat whispers as Signless proceeds to toss the large, dying beast to the side. 

“Karkat?” Signless calls as he spins. His red eyes are wild as they look for him.

“I’m right here,” Karkat says as moves into his line of sight. “Hey, I’m right here. I’m fine.” 

Signless grabs him by the shoulders and looks him over. Karkat can feel cooling blood seep through the slashes in his shirt.

“Did it hurt you?” he asks as he turns Karkat around and pulls at his clothing.

“No, I’m fine,” Karkat replies as he pulls himself out of Signless’s hands. “I mean, he got my foot but I don’t think it’s anything too bad.”

“Thanks to whatever deity is listening for that.” Signless seems to relax a little though he does look down at Karkat’s foot. “Let me take a look.”

Karkat lifts his foot as Signless kneels. 

“How far out did you go?” Karkat asks as Signless begins to take off his shoe.

“Not far,” Signless replies as he looks at the slight amount of blood coming out of the shallow punctures. “But on my way back I saw howl-beast tracks. When I realized they were fresh I started to follow them a little. It was about the time that I found the smaller set broke off towards you that I heard the howl. I ran back as quickly as I could after that.” He slips the shoe back on Karkat’s foot, some moss padding the soul. “I was afraid I’d be too late.” Signless pulls Karkat in tight. 

“I thought that…” Signless lets the words hang as he kneels with his face pushed into Karkat’s chest.

Karkat swallows thickly before he pulls back. “Hey, I’m fine.” Karkat pushes at Signless and manages to get him to let go. “Thing just surprised me while I was picking berries and trying to keep you from ruining my pants.”

Signless raises an eyebrow. “How would I…” Signless trails off before the shadow of a smirk arises and he shakes his head. He runs a blue stained hand through his damp hair. 

“Hey...wait. Where’d your sickle go?” He looks down at his own hands and finds that his is missing too. Glancing over at the dead beast he sees his second one laying in the grass.

“I...I’m not sure.” Signless stands up and starts looking for his own

“Sylladex…” Karkat murmurs as he goes and picks up his second sickle.

“What?”

“Our...our sylladexes.” He squeezes the handle and it disappears. “Quick, check all your pockets.” 

“We’ve already checked our pockets, how would we have overlooked our strife specibus?”

“Our what?” Karkat looks up at him in confusion.

Signless looks back and blinks dumbly. “The hell did I just say?”

“I don’t know, but it sounded damn familiar.” Karkat pats at his pants some more, over his chest, along his sides. Nothing. “Come on,” he growls. “I know I have to have it on me, I have to.” He pats a little further and…”Ah-ha!” Down near his knee, he feels something just smaller than his hand. It is relatively thin, light, and Karkat has no idea how to get to it.

“You found it?”

“I think so. I just don’t know how to get to it.” Karkat shoves his hands back into his pockets, but they don’t go down far enough. “Where in the hell is the opening?” He pulls his waistband back and looks along the seam. Just below the outer pocket, he sees a small lip. 

“How the fuck did I never feel that before?” he asks as he shoves his hand down into the hole and pulls out a black card. There is a lock on the top. 

“I could ask myself the same thing.” Signless pulls a white sylladex out of an inner pocket on his side. “How didn’t we feel these?”

“Who the fuck knows,” Karkat grumbles as he looks his over. “I don’t know why, but I feel like we shouldn’t use mine. I don’t think I was very good with it based on all the locks.”

“Really?” Signless asks as he comes over and looks down. He taps on one and the two watch as a bright green text appears on the screen. 

“Oh fuck, move!” Karkat shoves Signless as a safe suddenly drops from seemingly nowhere. “Damn it,” he curses.

“What in the hell?”

“I have to hack it to get the shit out,” Karkat grumbles. 

“Do you think you can?” 

Karkat looks down at the green text. “Uhhhh…” Karkat starts thumbing over the small keypad that has appeared on the sylladex screen. The green text flashes red with almost every other keystroke before flashing red three times. The safe doesn’t change.

“In a couple of hours maybe. What about yours?”

Signless looks it over. “I would like you to relinquish the item that is most dear to me but not _the_ dearest thing to me but would still be extremely sentimental and useful at this time.”

A red sweater promptly shoots out and hits Karkat square in the face.

“Seriously? Clothing?” He holds the item out and examines it. The sweater is a bit ratty with some slipped stitches here and there, but it’s clean despite its worn appearance. 

“I used to wear it when I was younger,” Signless replies as his eyes look over it. “My...my lusus made it for me. At least, I think she did.” 

Karkat gives a short. “That had to be one smart lusus.”

Signless looks at him oddly before taking in Karkat’s appearance. Karkat glances down at himself. The berries really hadn’t helped his clothing. There are even more cuts and pulled stitches in the arms, making them almost more cumbersome than warm.

“Maybe you should wear that for a while.”

“You sure?” Karkat asks. It would be nice to have something that actually covered his arms fully instead of tattered strands of cloth.

“Yes.” He looks at it with a somewhat longing look. “It’s not like I’d still fit in it.”

Karkat considered it before shaking his head.

“I’ll wait a little. You should probably take it back for now,” he hands it over to Signless who gently takes it between two fingers so as not to smear blood on it. “I don’t know if I’d ever be able to get it out aga-” A howl cuts him off and the two turn towards the sound.

“You might need to throw that safe back in your sylladex,” Signless says. “I’ll captchalogue the rest of our items.”

“Yeah…” Karkat eyes the safe. “Good idea.” The safe disappears back into his deck and a new lock appears. He looks up to find Signless putting everything into his own sylladex. Each time he does he mutters some long winded description of the item before it disappears into the confines of the device.

“What's the setting for yours?”

“Sermon,” Signless replies with a smirk.

“Well, that’s pretty fitting.”

“Are you saying I talk too much?” He puts the device into a more useful pocket. 

“No, you're just…” Karkat rubs at his head. “You’re just good at explaining things is all.” 

Another howl has them looking out towards the skyline. “We need to go. Who knows how angry those things will be when they find this carcass.” Signless looks down at the howl-beast. “Though...it would be a waste.” He pulls out his sylladex again, murmurs something, and the carcass disappears.

“Yours can hold that much?”

“Yours can’t?”

Karkat thinks on that a moment. “You know, I’m not sure.” 

“We’ll have to figure it out another time. Come on. Let's get to the river. They won’t be able to smell us as easily that way.” 

With a nod, Karkat follows Signless out towards the river. Signless steps into the river, turns to splash some water onto their footsteps, and then motions Karkat to wade in with him. It isn’t particularly comfortable, but the cool water is soothing to Karkat’s hurt foot and it allows Signless to wash off the worst of the blood. They don’t talk too much, not with the howls off to their left. At one point Signless drags Karkat down into the water. They stay crouched with both of their heads just barely peeking out as they watch the far-off tall grass split with the silhouettes of howl-beasts run against a lightening sky.

“We’ll need to find a camp for the day soon,” he tells Karkat when he gets up. 

“Are you crazy? With them this close?” 

“They’re going the opposite direction, and as long as we stay close to the water and keep upwind we should be fine.” Signless turns towards the mountains. “Plus there’s lots we need to collect before we get to the mountains. We won’t have as much of a selection past the foothills, especially if we have to go over the summit. 

“Why’s that?” Karkat asks him as they start scouting along the riverside. 

“Higher we go the less plant life we’ll find. Want to make sure we have enough to get over.” He pauses in his search. “There,” Signless says as he points to a clump of low trees nearby. “We can use that.” The trees are thin, with gnarled limbs and sparse, reddish leaves.

“Will that actually keep out the sun?” Karkat asks him.

“It’ll do enough,” he replies. “And the branches will deter the large howl-beasts if they find us.”

“Great,” Karkat huffs as he follows Signless. Signless un-captchalogus some rope and they use it to lash the flexible branches into a makeshift roof. 

“You’re right. That’s really not going to do much for the sun…” Signless murmurs after they finish. 

“What if we throw our clothing over the top?” Karkat asks as he looks at the thin, red leaves of the trees. “That could help.”

Signless nods. “That’s a good idea. Though, wait one moment.” He pulls out his sylladex. “A large tarp that is used to protect one’s body from the abhorrent glow of the sun and other such elements that could bring harm while attempting to rest.”

Karkat stands well to the side this time as a large, tattered piece of cloth shoots out.

“Here we are,” Signless says as he lifts it up. “I thought I...oh.” He pauses as he realizes the cloth has a good amount of holes in it.

“The heck is that?”

“Well, it was a tent at one point I suppose.” Signless lets out a dejected sigh at the tent’s state. 

“Better than nothing,” Karkat replies. “And we can still throw our clothing over the worst of the holes.” He motions towards a head sized tear.

“True.” A few moments later and they have the ratty covering in place and tied down in a few spots. They look over their meager shelter while Signless scratches a bit at his shoulder.

“Well, I don’t need this right now,” Karkat grumbles as he begins pulling his shirt off. “Things fucking soaked anyways.” He pauses when he realizes that Signless isn’t stripping. 

“Something wrong,” Karkat asks as he holds his shirt.

“Not really just…” Signless heaves a sigh. “We might be needing those white berries sooner than I thought.”

Karkat raises a brow as Signless strips off his chest-high jumpsuit. When he turns to hang the wet cloth over the roof of branches Karkat gives a hiss of horror.

“Holy shit, please tell me that was the howl-beast.” 

Signless’s back is a crisscross of claw marks; bright angry red with pale gray skin outlining the slashes.

“That bad?” Signless heaves a sigh. “Damn, I thought you had just scratched me up a little. I must have gotten dirt into them or something.”

“Or something is right. Holy fuck, I had no idea that I’d...I’m sorry.” Karkat takes a step forwards, traces one of the scratches, and feels Signless shiver. “Will the berries really help?”

“They’ll help a lot,” Signless assures him. “Just squish them up between your palms and then rub them in.” 

Karkat nods. “Okay, but, shouldn’t we clean those out first?”

Signless gives him a smile. “I was just about to say that. See, you’re learning.”

Karkat blushes as Signless rubs a hand between his horns. Signless finishes stripping, tossing the pants onto the covering, and then removes his small undergarment and hangs them off a branch. The smirk he gives Karkat has him stumbling to get the rest of his clothing off. His cheeks heat as the two of them stand nude side by side. It’s hard to keep his bone sheathing in check.

Signless reaches into his pants and pulls out his sylladex.

“Just in case they come back,” he tells Karkat. “I’m glad you figured out we had these.”

“Yeah, well, I just wish mine wasn’t such a bitch to operate,” Karkat grumbles as he glances at his dripping pants. He pulls it out, a precaution in case the howl-beasts come back. “Thank god these things are waterproof.”

“Agreed.” Signless reaches out a hand. “Shall we?” Karkat takes it and lets Signless lead. They both walk the short distance to the stream before they slide into the cool water. Karkat can’t help but shiver. The closer to the mountains they get the cooler the water becomes during night. They set their sylladexes close by before wading in deeper. 

“See if you can clean out any dirt I missed,” Signless says as he turns his back to Karkat. “That’s the most important thing.” Leaning in, Karkat looks over the raw flesh. It really does look bad. In some places the cuts aren’t deep, but they are dirty, and they look severely irritated. Others are deep, enough so that the skin around them is almost white. Karkat feels a bit sick as he cups water into his hands and begins to pour it over Signless’s back. Each time it pulls a hiss from the older troll and each time the water runs away slightly pink. In a few places he finds some dirt or sand in the corner of a cut and in one or two instances a rock.

“Wow…” he murmurs as he gently drags one of his claws through a cut and cleans out some sand. “I didn’t think I could do something like this.” 

“You’ve got a little beast in you.” Signless tries to follow the statement with a laugh but instead hisses as Karkat pours more water over his back. They stay quiet as Karkat gently pushes his fingers through the flesh. The white areas don’t seem to bleed much and that worries him. 

“What happens if these get infected?”

“With those white berries, they won’t,” Signless replies.

“Yeah, but what i-”

“Karkat, I’ll be fine.” The words are soft but stern, and Karkat swallows his fears down. He wants to believe Signless on this one, he really does, but already he is finding streaks of pus pushing out near the edges of some of the cuts. He pushes it out, washes it thoroughly, and does his best to ignore Signless’s sounds of discomfort. 

Once the cuts start to finally run clear, Karkat asks, “Are you ready for the berries?”

“Ready,” Signless replies with a tight voice and he turns towards the riverbed. The two of them make their way back to the tent. Signless finds an old worn blanket in his sylladex to lay down. It is almost more holes than cloth, but they manage to use it and his cloak to create a decent sleeping area. He also finds a small electric lamp and sets it glowing. It sends spiderweb cracks over the two of them with it’s cracked cover.

“Why is all your stuff so fucked up?” Karkat asks as they finally settle down.

“I really have no idea.” Signless heaves a sigh. “If I could remember I would tell you.” He turns his attention to his sylladex, and a few quick sentences later he hands Karkat the bag of white berries.

Karkat unwinds the bag’s knot as he sits cross-legged behind Signless. “I can’t believe I did this,” he says softly as he begins to mash the berries between his palms. To his surprise, the round balls don’t squirt out juice but instead become the consistency of a paste.

Signless gives a small laugh. “With how rough I was being the last two days, I can.” His voice loses its humor as Karkat begins to rub the paste into his back. 

Karkat can feel the loose skin beneath shift with each press and winces.

“Do we have anything we can use as bandages?”

“Some of those leaves from the forest,” Signless replies. “Though I was hoping to save those for eating.” He goes silent for a moment and Karkat can hear him tapping his finger on glass. “It doesn’t look like I have much in the way of bandages in my sylladex either.”

“Well I think your back needs those leaves more than our stomachs.” Karkat rubs along a particularly deep cut and watches a small amount of blood fill into the slit. “And I don’t think you’re going to be able to wear your pants so high anymore.”

Signless gives a sigh. “Damn it. I was hoping you wouldn't say that. But yes, you’re right.” 

“Are you really more upset about not wearing your pants all the way up than the fact that I sliced you up?”

Signless doesn’t respond.

Karkat snickers. “You’re weird.”

“You’re the one who likes being used as a fluid receptacle.” 

Karkat’s face goes warm as he keeps pushing the paste into Signless’s back. “Yeah well...not my fault you haven’t had a drink today.” He feels Signless’s muscles jump under his fingers.

“Is that an invitation?” The words purr through Karkat’s ears and send a shudder through his spine.

“Only if you let me finish dressing your back with the leaves.”

Signless looks over his shoulder with a predatory smirk. “You’ll have to let the paste dry a little before then.”

Karkat’s bone sheathing twitches at the promise in Signless’s eyes. 

“O-okay. But the second that shit is done...curing, or whatever, we’re covering it.”

“Whatever you say, Karkat.” Signless turns around and pushes a kiss to Karkat’s mouth. Karkat’s sheathing parts instantly and he finds that he cares very little that he’s getting their bedding sticky. Signless moves above him gingerly, pushing him down to the ground before pulling him up by the hips.

“I’ve been wanting a drink all day.”

Karkat gives a groan at the joking tone. It quickly becomes a moan as Signless bends at the waist and pushes his face to Karkat’s nook.

Karkat’s hands tangle into his hair, twist, but he does his best not to scratch him this time. It’s hard not to with the tongue prodding down into him. It strokes and twists, making the walls of Karkat’s nook ripple as Signless laps at him. With a slight jerk, Signless pulls Karkat up so much he’s mostly resting on his shoulders.

“Th-thirsty?” Karkat pants as Signless presses his tongue deep inside him. 

Signless’s hands flex on his hips in response. 

Closing his eyes, Karkat focusses on feeling Signless’s tongue while his back aches at the angle. He won’t be able to stay like this long, but it looks like that won’t be a problem. After a few moments, Signless gently lays him back down.

“I’m ready for those leaves,” he says with a smirk.

“B-but-” 

“We really shouldn’t,” he cuts in. “As much as I want to, and I really want to, we both have body parts that need to heal.”

Karkat gives an upset sound but concedes. 

“Yeah, okay,” he murmurs as he gets up.

“Plus I can’t get much out of you at that angle.” Signless winks as he runs the back of his hand over his mouth.

“You’re a fucking tease you know that?” Karkat grumbles as Signless hands over the leaves.

“And you’re tasty.”

Karkat finds that he doesn’t feel as bad about the cuts anymore while his nook aches. Signless is right, though, he’s still pretty damn sore, and if the howl-beasts are out there, then he needs to let his body heal from their pailing.

“Turn around,” he grumbles.

“I promise,” Signless starts as he turns his back to Karkat. “As soon as I can bend without hissing and you can walk without a limp I’ll pump you full again.” 

“Or maybe we should stay celibate until we’re over the mountains.” 

Signless’s head whips around to look at Karkat so quickly that Karkat almost expects to hear it crack.

It’s Karkat’s turn to smirk.

“Tease.”

“Jerk.” Karkat puts on the first leaf and cuts off whatever Signless might have said. “Now shut up and let me finish this.”

To his delight, Signless listens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. It's always odd trying to build plot on after the fact, but more interesting things will be coming, more questions, and possibly a few answers. (;


	4. Limited Uses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry chapter 4 took so long! Trying to take a one shot commission and turn it into something containing plot has been kicking my ass, but I think I've finally planned it out enough that the rest will come quicker. Thank you for waiting!

Sleep comes easily to Karkat, but staying asleep is a different story. Karkat finds himself waking up mid-day panting against steaming air. There isn’t much light getting past their torn up tent and clothing patches, but that doesn’t change the sweltering temperatures. Out here, without tree cover or shade, the river has spread a blanket of steam out over the fields. It beads on Karkat’s skin along with his sweat and makes the cloak damp beneath him.

He shifts closer to the place where the tent touches the ground and lifts it just a little. If he squints, he can look out into the hazy heat and see a sharp shine cutting through. The river level has definitely dropped, but that doesn’t keep it from reflecting the sun back like a razor. Karkat turns away from it and faces Signless. He is lying absolutely still, unmoving, and Karkat feels unease slip through him.

“Signless?” he asks as he taps the troll’s side.

“Yeah?”

Karkat jumps and watches Signless’s mouth turn up in a smirk.

“You can’t sleep either?” Karkat rolls back onto his back and spreads out as much as he can under their shelter.

“Off and on,” Signless replies with a yawn. “I always underestimate how much these rivers steam up during the day. Probably should have moved us further away, though at least it’ll get rid of our scent.”

“You think those howl-beasts are still looking for us?” Small stabs of fear run through Karkat.

“Not right now.” He pats Karkat’s hip gently. “But when night falls they might. Who knows what a beast like that will do after finding it’s grub cut and mate missing.”

“Mate?”

“It’s only an assumption,” Signless assures him. “But I’m guessing that the one that I killed was the lusus of the young-one you cut. I doubt the whole pack would be willing to go after something that stole away one of their own, but the mate might. Then again, they may just stay with the cub.”

“Well, that makes me feel better,” Karkat grumbles. He feels a need to huddle in on himself, but with the heat, he’s not about to let anybody parts touch unless he has to.

Signless snickers. “Never said it was meant to make you feel better.”

They lapse into silence and Karkat closes his eyes against the heat. The light outside turns his eyelids into dim maps of capillaries that his eyes follow until he slips back into sleep.

\------------

The moss-covered rocks of the mountain are soft beneath Karkat’s backside as he sits atop the summit. Below him the foothills and fields spread out before him. He can see the tent, a dot in a sea of mist in the liquid light of the sun. Up here, under a sea of thick clouds, the sun is bearable. Karkat can feel cool air attempting to come down from them and stirs against the heat that permeates over the world. Far off he hears a gentle thud of thunder.

“Karkat, wake up.”

The voice is soft and sounds like it is coming from behind and above him.

“What are you talking about, Signless.” He turns towards the voice. “I’m already…up.” He finds no-one there. “Signless?” He looks around himself, but finds no one. Even more un-nerving is that he’s seemingly at the highest point. How could the voice come from above him?

“Where are you?” The words ripple around him as cool air pulls them past Karkat and down the mountainside. “Get out here you dumb-ass.”

Karkat stands up and swallows. His sickles appear in his hands as he turns around the summit. The rocks are covered in scraggly moss, some of them tall and jagged with blackened tips. As the cooler wind continues to slip into the heat Karkat can smell ozone.

“Who’s there?” He falls into a fighting stance, blades out and ready. The wind starts to pull at his clothing.

“Do not make me smack you, I swear I will. If that’s what it takes to find you, Karkles, then I will.”

“Karkles?” He keeps looking. A tug of familiarity pulls at his chest. He ignores it as he searches for the voice. “Who the fuck is there?”

“And I always thought I’d enjoy doing this.”

Karkat jumps as something flashes nearby. His ears ring as thunder roars around him and the sound echoes through his bones. Everything about him shakes. Wind roars up and over the side of the mountain, pulling at him. Both of his feet slide some before he quickly drops to his knees and squints into the wind. There is a shadow in the clouds that are descending around him; devouring the summit along with him.

“Sorry Karkles.”

Karkat’s head whips around, eyes squinted as he search. Who the hell is-

Lightning flashes in front of his eyes and a loud boom echoes overhead. His cheek blares with white hot heat as he flies backwards and into the empty space behind him.

He spins through the air, turns to try and find the ground, and Karkat wakes with a jolt.

Wide-eyed and upright, Karkat’s eyes look around the tent as he tries to figure out where he is. His cheek hurts, and when he touches it he finds the skin uncomfortably warm and raw. Almost as soon as he realizes that his cheek is warm, he finds that the rest of him is freezing.

“S-shit,” he chatters as he rubs at his arms. Looking down he finds that he’s covered in a thin sheen of water, and while there is still a tinge of light outside the tent, the temperature has dropped and there is a decent wind blowing up under the cloth. He looks over at Signless and finds him breathing steadily, eyes closed, and a dim dot of light next to him. Karkat follows it up to a hole.

‘No fucking wonder my cheek hurts,’ he thinks to himself. ‘Damn sun got me.’ He looks at Signless a moment longer before getting up and tossing the part Signless’s cape he had been sleeping on over Signless’s lower body. Outside he hears a distant boom that sends a shiver up his spine. He pushes aside a garment so that he can peek out of one of the holes with a squinted eye and stares across the plains and towards the mountains. The entire summit is gone, angry grey and purple clouds having swallowed it. Jagged flashes of light reach towards the setting sun in intricate patterns that survive for only an instant. A while later and a gentle thrums of thunder roll past with small gusts of wind, nothing more than a whisper of what they could be. Karkat rubs at his ear, the dream echoing in his head.

“Wow,” Karkat murmurs as he watches for a few minutes longer. He catches glimpses of the top of the mountain; nothing but a shadow of the clouds. He finally stops when the shivering becomes too much and he is forced to venture outside to retrieve his clothing.

Outside the makeshift tent the world is dry wherever the sun can reach. Even their clothing, which had to have been soaked through by the steam, are barely damp beneath Karkat’s hands. The wind ruffles them, threatening to take them if only it were a little stronger.

He tugs his clothing down and pulls it all on quickly and makes sure Signless’s clothes aren’t about to be dragged out into the tall grass. Turning back towards the mountains, he rubs at his arms and stamps his feet some; slowly the sun-warmed strands help rid him of his shivering. As Karkat watches, the winds start to recede as the storm begins to fizzle out. Next to him he hears the water babble as the river level rises, the first waters from the storm flowing down into the plains. He watches the river for a short while, the waters gently glimmering in the last strands of sunlight.

Inside the tent, Karkat hears Signless murmuring gently. Using the hole his pants had been over, Karkat watches Signless curl up slightly, his back to Karkat. The leaves have mostly stuck to him throughout the night, though he can see where a few have come off. He can’t be for sure from this far away, but the scratches that are visible do look better. A few more inaudible murmurs slip out of the tent. Karkat strains to hear them but finds that they are nothing more than sounds.

“Guess I’m not the only one having weird dreams.” He looks up at the glow from the moons and scans the area. In the lower waterline, he can see some roots poking from the sandy banks.

“My turn to get you breakfast in bed,” he murmurs before heading down to the river. The stream’s lower level reveals multiple roots that had been hidden below the water line. Karkat digs them up quickly, working while the sun disappears and the moons rise and reflect back gentle light. Karkat gathers until he can’t hold anymore in his shirt and the river has risen back into it’s normal banks. Off in the distance, high above the mountains, he sees the last few dying spikes of lightning across the sky. A final, dull thrum rolls past him and then there is only the sound of the returning river.

“Those for me?”

Karkat just about loses all of the roots to the water. He jerks around to find Signless standing just outside of their shelter; wrapped in his cloak and shivering gently. Karkat can see a few speckles of dew in his hair.

“The hell are you trying to do!? Scare me to death?”

Signless smirks before giving a yawn. “You know I wouldn’t do anything to you that you didn’t want.”

“Well, I want to know what you’re doing shivering outside of the tent,” Karkat snaps as he makes his way out of the river.

“I was looking for my little source of heat, but now I’m more interested in trying to find some something to eat.”

“Well, get back inside and start a fire or something. You can eat while I check your back.”

Signless gives a nod of agreement before doing as he is told. As Signless bends down and disappears inside, Karkat can’t stop himself from staring at the older troll’s backside under the worn cloth of his cloak. Karkat follows shortly after.

Signless doesn’t start a fire, but he does keep his lower body wrapped in the cloak.

“Here,” Karkat murmurs as he dumps the roots into his lap.

“Thank you,” Signless replies as he starts to eat the cleaned roots.

As Signless eats, Karkat removes the leaves from the night before and rubs in another round of the paste.

“Leaves please.”

Signless stops eating to eject the leaves from his sylladex and hands them over.

“Use as few as you can,” Signless tells him. “We only have so many left with how quickly we’re going through them.”

“Not my fau-…” Karkat stops.

Signless looks over his shoulder and smirks.

“Shut up,” he grumbles as he looks at the scratches he had left.

“Not saying anything.” Signless puts another root in his mouth.

As soon as Karkat is done dressing the wounds, Signless makes him eat a few of the roots. They both end up eating until they are full, and even after that there are plenty roots left to put into Signless’s sylladex.

“Mind getting my pants for me?” Signless asks as he gets up. Karkat says nothing as he reaches through the hole in the tent, grabs a pant leg, and jerks it through.

“Here.” He holds them out to Signless who goes about pulling them on, he tentatively pulls them up around his chest much to Karkat’s annoyance. He opens his mouth to say something, but Signless beats him.

“With the leaves, I think I’ll be okay.” He turns around to show Karkat that the pants do not hit any exposed cuts and only leaves.

“Fine,” he grumbles. “But don’t zip them all the way up.”

“Alright, fair enough,” he replies as he turns to their tent. “So why were you up so early? Did you hear something?” Signless asks him as they take down the tent. Each piece they pull down goes into Signless’s sylladex which is almost stuffed full.

“The thunderstorm.” He rubs at his cheek. “That and the sun got me too.”

Signless gives a slight nod. “Yeah, that would do it.” Signless looks around them. “You must have been up early since the rain already burned off.”

“Oh, the storm wasn’t down here. It was all in the mountains. Saw some crazy lightning.”

“Evening storms can be quite common up there. We’ll have to be careful. Last thing we need is to get trapped in a downpour.”

“Do you think we will?” Karkat sees lacy patterns in his mind; beautiful and deadly. He doesn’t doubt it would take a single strike from one to fry his ass.

“Possibly, though if we find a good place to hole up for the day we shouldn’t have a problem. The worst ones are at dusk, so all we’ll need is a good, solid cave to wile the hours away.”

Karkat hands him another item to stick in the sylladex.

“I’m amazed you didn’t wake up. Could hear you talking in your sleep.”

Signless turns to him surprised. “I was?”

“Yeah, not sure what you were saying, but I definitely heard you.”

He goes to hand him something else and finds Signless standing still.

“You okay?”

Signless blinks. “What? Oh, yes. Sorry. Was trying to remember my dream.” He goes and murmurs another description into the sylladex. “I can’t remember anything from it.”

“I had a weird one,” Karkat replies. “First one I can remember since...well I’m not sure. Some weird voice telling me I needed to ‘wake up’.”

“Really?” Signless turns from the almost cloth free trees. “What kind of voice?”

“I’m not sure.” Karkat helps untangle the rope from the tree.

“Did it sound familiar?”

Karkat pauses. “Maybe, I’m really not sure. I remember it calling me Karkles.”

Signless snorts.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just kind of a cute name. Maybe you’re trying to remember an old friend.”

“You think?” A strange nugget of hope settles down in his stomach.

“Maybe. Who knows, maybe our dreams are trying to tell us something.” He gives Karkat a grin before putting the last of the rope into his sylladex. “If you hear me talking again, see if you can hear anything.”

“As long as you do the same for me.”

The rest of the day is spent as a kind of lesson. Signless points out more edible plants, a few new mosses, and some animals tracks. They end up captuloging a large amount of edibles as they go, Signless insisting that they’ll need all they can get. He also adds to their kindling stack as well, dumping and adding to the pile of dead twigs and grass every few miles when the amount he is carrying gets too large; the space inside ever diminishing.

“I wonder if I can change my sylladex,” Karkat wonders aloud when he sees how little space they have left. Karkat flips through the contents of his. Names scroll by; husktop, rom-coms, faygo, and a whole slew of safes. He can only guess that each safe contains another safe that contains an item that he had failed to get out.

_‘There has to be a way to change it,’_ he thinks to himself. _‘Shouldn’t there be?'_ He’s sure he’s done it before. If only-

There on the back he finds a button.

“Stack-modus?” Karkat clicks it and suddenly everything is shown in a stack. Well, most everything.

“Damn it!”

“What?” Signless looks over from where he is setting up the next woodpile to be added.

Karkat holds up the sylladex and snaps, “They’re still stuck in the fucking safes.”

Signless looks at him with a blink before letting out a loud laugh. Karkat glares at the older troll who continues to laugh seemingly much too hard. “It’s not funny, you idiot. There could be something useful in one of these!” He waves the sylladex at him.

Signless only seems to find his tone of voice more humorous because he goes to his knees. He wraps both arms around his waist, holding his sides as he laughs.

Karkat feels his mouth twitch as he tries to continue to scowl.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“I-I’m sorry, just,” he gives a gasping laugh as he goes to pull himself up. “Psi, you should have seen your face, it was-

“Psi?” Karkat cuts in.

Signless’s laughter seems to stop suddenly. “What?”

“What do you mean what? You’re the one who said it. Who’s Psi?”

Signless looks at him, opens his mouth to answer, and then his face falls into a scowl. “I’m...I’m not sure,” he replies as he rubs at his wrists.

Karkat walks forwards a little. “Did you remember something?” He’s a bit surprised at how hopeful he sounds.

“Maybe?” Signless replies. “Just a little memory. It was something similar to what you just did I guess. He got something stuck and…” Signless looks out past Karkat.

“And what?”

Signless stares out into the tall grass.

“Signless? Are you-”

“Get down.”

“What?”

Signless grabs Karkat and tugs him down towards the ground. Karkat goes without a fight and couches down in the grass. It’s shorter now, the two of them further into the foothills than before, but it does the job. Karkat turns his head just enough to try and see over his shoulder. He sees nothing but grass. His ears strain as he tries to hear anything in the tall grass. He can’t hear anything.

“What is it?” he hisses.

Signless raises up a little. His eyes scan the plains as he keeps a hand on Karkat’s arm. After a few more moments he stands.

“I-I thought?” His eyes scan the grass. Karkat looks between him and the distance.

“You thought what?”

“I thought I saw someone out there.”

“Someone?!” Karkat quickly turns and scans the grass behind him, his heart thudding. “What did they look like?” His blood-pusher pounds in his chest.

“I’m...I’m not sure.” Signless keeps looking.

Karkat sidles up next to him, his sickles out.

“Hey.” The gentleness in Signless’s voice makes him jump. “It’s okay.” Karkat looks up to find that Signless isn’t actually looking at him. “I must have just seen some birds fly out of the underbrush.” His voice doesn’t sound very convincing. They stand in the grass a while longer, Signless looking far into the field, eyes searching.

“Do you think it might have been a howl-beast?”

Signless seems to snap out of whatever trance he’s in.

“I’m not sure, but that’s as good a guess as any.”

“Shouldn’t we get going then?”

“Yes, yes, of course; good idea. Even if it wasn’t anything it’s a better idea to keep moving then let whatever it was catch up with us.”

“That’s not comforting,” Karkat grumbles as he follows him through the growing twilight.

“We’re upwind, Karkat. Very little of what I could say would be comforting now.”

The two of them continue out of the flat-lands and further into the foothills. For a time, Signless makes Karkat walk in the water with him as Karkat continues to find a few roots here and there; a seemingly futile attempt at masking their scent with what he had said earlier. As they wade through the shallower portions of the river, Signless seems distracted. He keeps checking over his shoulder and out into the fields.

They find a crevice in the hills and the growing number of stone clusters a short while before sunrise. Karkat asks questions about the foods they had found during the day as they set up; clarifying ones that he hopes will jump-start Signless into some sort of sermon about why such and such an edible is better than another. Instead he gets quick responses, ones that answer the question but nothing more.

“You okay?” he asks as they get ready to lay down, a bundle of long grass laid out as a makeshift mattress.

“Just, thinking,” Signless replies.

Karkat shifts so he can be closer and Signless pulls him in close.

“About what?”

“Psi,” Signless replies. “It’s such a familiar name but…” He sighs and buries his face between Karkat’s horns. Karkat accepts the tight grip as Signless shoves his nose into his hair and breathes deeply.

“You smell like grass,” he murmurs.

“No shit. We’ve only been walking through it all day.”

Signless doesn’t say anything else, just keeps him close and breathes in again.

“Anything I can do?” Karkat asks him as they lay in the fading darkness of the crevice.

“I’m not sure,” Signless replies as he kisses Karkat’s forehead.

“Well, if you think of anything, let me know.”

They both fall silent.

Karkat lays with his head against Signless’s chest. He can smell the scents of nature and sweat on Signless’s skin. Karkat's eyes trace his collarbone; the line of it set in a deep shadow by the dim light of the rising sun. Leaning in, Karkat presses his mouth to it. Signless’s breath stutters.

Even though his heart hammers, Karkat continues, mouth traveling over the skin he can reach while Signless’s hands clench at his back. Gently he drags his teeth over Signless’s chest, catches the flesh, and Signless jerks him away.

The two stare at one another. Karkat can’t tell what the look on Signless’s face is, but something doesn’t seem right. Karkat blinks rapidly, eyes seeming to unfocus.

“Karkat?” Signless pants.

Karkat keeps his eyes on his Signless’s.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Karkat replies as he reaches his hand up to touch Signless beneath his eyes. The red of them seems to almost glow in the dark.

“Your hands are shaking.”

Karkat doesn’t respond, just traces the hollows of his eye sockets.

“Karkat?”

“Fill me,” he says gently. “I think we both need to stop thinking for a while.”

“Are you sure that-”

“Signless,” he says, voice firm in a way he didn’t expect to ever hear himself. “I need you to push into me until I can’t breathe and you can’t think. Please.” His hand drops down to ghost over Signless’s chest. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if you don’t.”

“Alright,” Signless murmurs. “I can do that.” His mouth starts out gentle against Karkat’s and his hands trace his body in tiny patterns. Karkat keeps his hands on Signless’s sides and well away from the cuts on his back.

Signless rolls him so that he is on his belly and pulls up gently on his hips. Karkat moves without a word, his bone-sheathing already split and his bulge writhing against his thigh.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” Signless murmurs as he slides inside.

Karkat gives a groan as he pushes his face down into the ground. Spots of soreness blossom the deeper Signless pushes in, but Karkat doesn’t mind. The weight of the larger troll on his back and his girth inside him chases away his worry. There is no room for thought in his brain while it tries to remind him to breathe and his insides ripple as Signless rolls gently into him.

“More,” he whimpers.

“When you’re ready.”

“I am,” Karkat whines as his bulge tries to urge Signless to press further into him.

The hands on his hips tighten. “Not yet,” Signless tells him. He keeps the pace mind-numbingly slow. Signless’s bulge moves deliciously through Karkat, though it feels like only a taste. He wants to feel it as deep as it can go, splitting him open and emptying into him, but the more he begs the slower Signless seems to go.

“Please,” he sobs. “Fucking, please. Move, don’t leave me like this you asshole. Just…” he trails off as Signless seems to pull out. His body quivers in need as his brain tries to sort out what to say. It has no time before Signless pushes back in quickly and with a harshness he wasn’t expecting.

An airy noise escapes him that barely resembles a word. There is only a little pain this time as Signless wriggles his way into the very back of his nook.

“Now you’re ready,” he growls gently into Karkat’s ear.

Karkat cums shortly after, his sensation-starved body more than ready for the action. Signless keeps going and going, and Karkat begs to be filled until heat pulses into him and his brain finally decides that sleep can be claimed.


	5. Multiple Uses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that this took so long. I got very behind in my commissions and other writings due to the holidays and then a bout of very bad health. Chapter 6 will be coming MUCH quicker and is in the final editing stages. 7's rough is finished and will be edited here shortly. 
> 
> Thank you to both the commissioner and other readers for your patience and understanding!

“Are you ever going to wake up?” 

Karkat feels a hand on his chest, gentle and calloused. He lets out a little purr of sound, enjoying the touch. For a moment the fingers disappear and he whimpers, but they immediately come back, summoned by his small protest. He lets his eyes flicker a little and looks up into the dim light. Above him he sees red.

“Karkat.” The hand suddenly tightens and the fist pushes down against his sternum as he hears something scrap backward. “Karkat’s awa-!”

Karkat jolt upwards, chest heaving. Each breath makes him feel like he’s suffocating, the air thick and wet. He can still feel the knuckles of a fist pushing into his chest as he gasps.

“Hey, calm down.”

Karkat can’t tell where the voice is coming from at first. Fingertips touch his back, gentle and calloused, and he jumps. Turning around, he finds Signless looking at him with half closed eyes. 

His heart spikes as he scrambles backward.

 _’What’s wrong with his eyes?’_ Karkat hits the other side of the crack in the mountainside and gasps as sharp points dig into his back. _’Why are they white?’_

“Whoa, hey,” Signless sits up quickly, his eyes fully opening. The second the red irises appear in the stark white the sclera seem to suddenly fade to yellow. Karkat feels his heart try to calm down. 

“Y-your eyes, I thought-” He can’t come up with anything as he shivers against the side of the crack and attempts to pull in air. 

“Whatever you thought it was a trick of the mist. My eyes are fine. Now, stop hyperventilating, and breathe.”

Karkat blinks and realizes that there is actually quite a bit of mist in the cave; a thick blanket over the ground that disperses upwards in the air. It’s so thick he can barely see his toes wriggle against the hard earth.

“What time is it?” Karkat gasps as he tries to take Signless’s advice. Signless reaches for him with a comforting hand.

“Very early evening,” Signless replies as Karkat scoots in close to him and lets himself be wrapped up. Signless wraps his hand around his shoulder and pets his chest. “I was hoping we moved far enough from the river that we wouldn’t have to worry about this, but apparently not. We’ll have to get higher up on the mountain before the wind can really do its job and blow this stuff away.”

“Good,” Karkat grumbles as he breathes somewhat shallowly. “I’m sick of breathing this shit in my sleep.”

“No doubt, sounded like you were having a nightmare before you woke up.”

“Huh?”

Signless shifts so he can pull him closer. “I heard you whimpering right before you woke up. Sounded like you were putting up one hell of a fight in there.”

Despite how wet the air is, Karkat’s throat feels dry as he tries not to compare the gentle petting of Signless’s hand to the one that had been on his chest before.

“Really?” he asks as he tries his best to shift so that Signless’s hand is on his shoulder and not his chest. Karkat shudders a little as he rubs at the place on his sternum where the knuckles had dug in. “I can’t really remember it too well.”

“Yeah.” The fingers stop and Karkat looks up to find Signless staring up at the tent tarp that covers the top of their crevasse, keeping out the sun but none of the steam. “I can’t either.”

 _’He’s lying._ The knowledge runs deep in him and somehow Karkat knows that Signless is aware that he isn’t telling the full truth as well. _’Not like it would tell us anything,’_ Karkat tries to reason. _’He’d tell me if his meant anything...right?’_

“Come one, we should start packing up and eat something. I want to make use of the sunset to plan a route up the mountain.” Signless pats his back and sits up.

“Can’t we just do that with the moonlight?” Karkat asks. Without the adrenaline from the dream, he can feel his body sagging. Sleep, although having been violently chased away, tugs at him slightly. They had walked so far yesterday and his body is still very sore. He also has no urge to see any part of the sun if he can help it.

“We can, but with how rocky it is I want to see what’s going on up a bit higher. Easier to see with some sunlight added in there.”

“Pfft, yeah, until it makes you go blind,” he grumbles.

“I’ll wait until it’s under the horizon.” Signless pushes a kiss to Karkat’s temple. He sits back and talks into his sylladex. Roots appear in his hand. He speaks again and one of the red berry bags appears.

“Now, come on, time to eat something. Don’t want to be climbing on an empty stomach.” He pulls out two berries and puts them into Karkat’s hand along with some roots.

“Yeah,” he replies as he looks at the two red spheres that sit between the pale, white roots. They almost seem to stare up at him, and he can feel his heart pick up speed. “Don’t want to do that.”

\----------------------

They leave while there is still red and orange tinging the sky and the storm winds come sweeping down the side of the mountain. They are stronger now in the foothills and it takes a sure foot to keep Karkat from falling on his ass when sudden gusts come down the side. Signless walks ahead of him, trying to cut some of the wind for Karkat with his body as they make their way up. Despite the heavy winds, the storm itself doesn’t seem as bad as the evening before, and Karkat is thankful for that.

They are still far enough down that the storms don’t do more than spit on them, but Karkat can see that it won’t be long before they’ll be inside the torrent. The idea makes him shiver even more in his ever degrading shoes and his hole worn sweater. His pants are tearing as well, mostly around the ankles, but his knees are wearing through quicker than he thought possible. On some gusts, he feels like he may as well be wearing nothing at all.

Half a night’s hike gets them to the base of the mountain and Signless halts them.

“How are you doing?” he asks, his voice even despite the steepening climb. Karkat, however, finds himself somewhat out of breath; the mist from the mornings still clinging to his lungs. At least that’s the excuse he gives himself for finding the climb so tough. 

“Like my calves are trying to cook themselves,” Karkat replies. He forces his heavy breathing to remain at least somewhat even.

“Yeah, slant like this will do that.” Signless gives him a small smile as he goes to sit on one of the nearby boulders. 

“Thanks for the warning,” Karkat grumbles as he sits down across from him. He hisses as his knees bend fully for the first time in what feels like, and has been, hours. Signless had kept them going, saying that if they had stopped halfway up the first incline then it would only be harder. With how Karkat’s legs and lower body feel like they’re locking up, he hates to admit that Signless is right. At least the winds had died down after sunset and they weren’t having to fight them on the slope.

Signless talks into the Sylladex before handing over another handful of roots, a smaller portion this time, and only one red berry. “Here, this’ll help.”

“What would help would be a hot dip in an ablution tub,” Karkat grumbles before popping the berry in his mouth.

“Well, maybe if we get lucky we’ll find a hot spring or something.”

Karkat gives a snort before swallowing. “We’re not that lucky,” he points out before eating a root.

“Just means it’s bound to be time for our luck to change.”

“Ou ah rediculouthly optamthtic,” Karkat says around his mouthful before swallowing.

Signless chokes.

“You okay?” Karkat asks as he watches as the larger troll hacks and hits at his chest. 

Signless pulls in large lungfuls of air only to have them come out in splintered coughs. Reddish tears well up in his eyes.

Karkat jumps up from his seat and almost stumbles to the ground. The hell is he supposed to do? Drinking would help, but the only water receptacle is in Signless’s sylladex and the river is too far away. 

He opts for quickly running to Signless’s side and smacking him hard on the back.

“Stop,” Signless hisses before coughing again. “I’m fine,” he manages to get out between another couple of hacks.

“Like hell you are!” Karkat snaps as he pulls his arm back.

“Cuts!” 

Karkat’s hand stops just before smacking over Signless’s back again. 

“Oh, oh fuck. I’m so sorry, I...” he sits heavily next to Signless as he tries to think of something he could possibly do to help. He can’t get him anything to drink because he doesn’t get how Signless’s sylladex is set up, he can’t possibly get to the river and back quickly enough for it to do any good, and on top of the coughing, he probably just caused Signless more pain than anything when he had smacked him.

“I really wish I had a liquid receptacle right now,” he grumbles as Signless coughs. 

The next breath comes out between a laugh and a cough as Signless looks over at him. There are tears in his eyes and on his cheeks, his face is flushed red, and there is a hint of humor in his expression. It takes Karkat a moment to realize why he finds the comment humorous.

“If you want me to drop my pants and bend over I will, but I don’t think that shits going to help you much, you dirty fuck.” His face burns as he snaps it but it does get Signless to laugh again, though it doesn’t seem to do much for his coughing. 

Karkat softens a little. “Seriously, though, anything I can do for you?”

Signless waves his hand and takes in a few deep breaths, his coughing finally slowing.

“No, no, just give me a moment. I’ll be fine.”

“Good, but what the hell happened? I’m making fun of you one second and the next you sound like you’re trying to project your respiration-sacks onto the rocks.” 

Karkat watches the humor on Signless’s face fade as the coughing continues to diminish. 

“Nothing, just-” he clears his throat. “Little something went down the wrong tube is all.” He stares down at the roots in his hand before offering them over to Karkat. “I’m not too hungry after that, would you like these?”

Karkat blinks at him. “Are you trying to change the subject on me?”

Signless sighs, drops his hand, and grips the roots tight.

“A bit,” he admits.

“Why?” Karkat feels a shudder go through him as a cool wind from the top of the mountain breeze by.

Signless seems to deliberate with himself as he stares at the roots in his hands.

“The way you spoke was just…” he sighs and rubs at his face with his free hand. “I swear someone said that to me before almost exactly like that. The tone, the lisp, but I can’t place it. I just can’t…” Karkat hears a crunch. Looking down he finds white, translucent liquid dripping between Signless’s fingers. 

The both sit quietly for a while longer, the wind making Karkat shudder as Signless holds a hand over his mouth and looks out over the planes below.

“Well,” Karkat says as he looks at the roots. “Guess neither of us will be eating those now.” He means it to come out funny, to break the tension, but it falls flat instead. Signless ends up looking at the roots for a moment before shoving the handful into his mouth. Only about half of it makes it and the rest falls onto the rocky ground.

“Finish yours up,” he says before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’ll need the energy.” 

Karkat nods and eats the last of his roots slowly. His legs are begging to stay still just a little while longer and while he knows they’ll need to get higher to find shelter, the last thing he wants to do is move. As he eats, Signless gets out the water receptacle, the two of them take a couple of meager gulps, and then he stands. Karkat follows, shivering, and Signless gives him a pitying look.

“Here,” he tells him before murmuring into his sylladex. The red sweater appears. “I think It’s about time you swapped out.”

Karkat looks at the bright red of the sweater and swallows. It looks much warmer than his hole filled and threadbare counterpart. He also knows that it is important to Signless. It is one of the items that is most dear to him after all.

“I think I can go a little longer,” Karkat tries.

“Even if you could I’d rather you not. It’ll be even colder at the top, so I’d like to preserve what I can of your current sweater and then you can layer it with this one when it really gets cold.”

Karkat nods. He’s not going to win on this one. He could try, but to be honest, the red yarn looks warm. 

He quickly takes off his black and gray sweater, trades Signless for the red one, and pulls the red sweater on and can immediately feel the difference between the two. This one is much softer, thicker, and is already trapping his body heat better than he had hoped. It’s still a bit thin in places, he can feel it in the elbows, but it’s better than what he had. If only he could do something about the cold on his feet.

“Wouldn’t happen to have extra socks or shoes in there, would ya?” he asks as he curls his toes in his ratty shoes. 

“I don’t think so,” Signless replies. “Though I might be able to make you some out of the howl-beast hide.”

Karkat shudders. “Yeah, sounds great. Let me walk around in some dead things skin.” 

“It’s what I’ll be wearing when we get closer to the top. Just need to find a cave where we can hole up a couple of days so that I can start to tan it.”

“Do you even have what you need for that?” Karkat has no idea what it takes to tan a hide, but he doubts that a few berries and things will be able to do what Signless needs.

Signless gives him a smile. “No, but I have what I need to get it started...I hope.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I have no idea how much sodium is in this sylladex of mine, but I’m going to pray that it’s enough to keep this hide from rotting.”

Karkat blinks before giving a sigh. “That’s going to smell awful, isn’t it.”

Signless gives him a tired smirk. “Only until you go nose-blind to it.”

Karkat doubts very highly that is going to happen.

\---------------------

Karkat almost collapses against the wall of the cave, but with the new, warm red yarn wrapped around his torso, he doesn’t dare. He is going to make the sweater last him as long as possible and if he’s going to do that he can’t go collapsing into stone walls. Not that it doesn’t already have a few new snags in it. The higher they have climbed the rockier it has gotten and the only natural pathways are along the side of the mountain. A few times they had been so thin Karkat had thought he would fall right off the side, but Signless had been there to lead the way and keep him from doing so.

“Thank fuck,” he groans as he slumps down onto the cool, dry floor of the cave. “I thought you were going to pass up this one too.” They were half-way to the top and the pace Signless had set has left Karkat feeling limp and noodle like.

“I almost did,” Signless replies as he checks the job he had done hanging the tarp over the entrance to the cave. “I didn’t think it would have enough ventilation for the tanning process, but it looks like there is a large crack running near the back and it gives decent airflow. There’s also a little bit of running water coming out of another crack in the floor, so who knows, I might be able to do more with this hide than I thought.”

“What do you mean?” Karkat watches him as he walks to the center of the cave before dumping out their firewood.

“It means I might be able to damn it up and make a soaking pool. Just need to create some lye from some ashes and…” he pauses. “Damn. I don’t know if I have a big enough receptacle to do that.”

“What are you even talking about?” Karkat lets out a yawn.

“Don’t worry about it,” Signless replies as Karkat feels his eyes fighting to close. “Go ahead and take a nap. I’m going to get started on the skinning and see what we have to work with. If all goes well I might be able to make a short cloak for you too.”

“I’d prefer socks.”

Signless smiles. “Socks it is then.”

Karkat watches him as he gets the fire up and going, a small one since the mountain will heat up some during the day, but being up higher it will be cooler. He lets his eyes droop as he watches him, allows them to close, and dozes. He doesn’t actually sleep, Signless is too noisy for that to happen, but he does rest. 

At one point Signless strips down bare and walks out with only his sylladex. It isn’t until he comes back covered in blue and holding a very large, bloody skin that Karkat realizes why.

“Do you need any help?” he asks as he gets up and gives a stretch. 

“Only if you’re w-willing to get a little chilly.” Karkat can hear that Signless is trying not to let his teeth chatter. 

“With the fire you made, I think I’ll be okay. Besides, I haven’t been out in the wind like you.” He quickly strips as Signless stands next to the fire, body shivering as he tries to warm up. As soon as he’s free of his clothing, Karkat comes over and gingerly grabs the other end of the skin. It is sticky under his fingers, cool, and Karkat does his best not to gag.

“Where’s the rest of him?” He really doesn’t want to step outside and find the carcass waiting for him.

“Sylladex,” Signless replies as he leads Karkat back and around a small bend in the cave. “We’ll actually have some fresh meat tonight.”

He makes a face. “It’s been in your sylladex, how is that fresh?” 

“Matter doesn’t age in your sylladex,” Signless reminds him.

“Oh…” Karkat feels his cheeks warm. How could he forget that?

They lay the skin out flat in the back of the cave, the light from the fire casting long shadows this far back.

“Try to get the edges flat. Use rocks if you need to,” Signless directs. “I’ll be right back.”

Karkat does as he’s told, laying out the skin so that the blue tinted flesh is upright and as flat as possible. Signless returns quickly with his sylladex and a lit log that he sets down nearby.

“Sodium that is used to cure and season foods,” he says into the sylladex.

Karkat expects some kind of shaker to come out of it, but instead what looks like a tub hits the ground instead.

“Holy shit.”

Signless gives him a smile. “While it’s nice to have a sylladex, knowing how to keep food fresh without one is important too.” He pulls the top off the large tub and smiles. “Good,” he says as he takes out a handful. “Looks like I have enough.” He tosses the handful onto the skin. “Rub that in.”

“What’s it do?” Karkat asks as he starts to rub the salt into the slick skin.

“Stops it from decomposing by drying out the flesh. After a day we’ll swap out any loose salt and do it again. Even if I don’t get a chance to fully tan it, that will do a good job keeping it from decaying too much while we get over the mountain.”

“How do you know all this?” Karkat asks as he starts rubbing the salt up near the tatters of the howl-beast’s neck.

“Disciple.”

Karkat waits for the rest of the explanation but Signless doesn’t give one, he just rubs salt into the flesh.

“You were a disciple of what?” he finally asks.

“Huh?”

“You were a disciple of what? Tanning?”

“Oh, no Disciple was…” he trails off. “She was…” He stares down at the fur.

“She was what?” 

Karkat watches Signless swallow thickly before going back to rubbing salt over the skins.

“I’m not sure.”

His tone of voice keeps Karkat from asking anything else. Those three words hold as much hurt and longing as he himself feels for any memory of what had been going on before this whole fucked up excursion.

They finish salting the skin in near silence, Signless only speaking to point out places that need more salt or telling Karkat he’s doing a good job. 

“Come on,” he says as they stand away from their handiwork. “Let’s wash up and then I’ll teach you how to cook meat over a fire.”

Karkat stops himself from telling Signless that he’s pretty sure he can do that. Signless seems to need a distraction, and while Karkat’s body isn’t up to the task, his mind at least is. He follows him to the back of the cave and starts to wash away the blue.

\------------

“If you leave it like that much longer it’ll char,” Karkat says as he sits next to the fire. He and Signless are clean of blue except for what had refused to come out from beneath their claws. It hadn’t been fun scrubbing off in the tiny brook at the back of the cave, the water only an inch or so deep, freezing, and barely a few inches wide, but they had made due.

“It’s just turning brown,” Signless replies as he stares at the meat. They have it sitting on an old, bent up metal thing that looks like the top to a grill. Karkat’s not sure how he knows what a grill is, but he is sure that he’s used one before, and that if they don’t do something quickly the meat is going to burn.

“No, it’s not, it’s going to burn.” Karkat reaches out before Signless can say anything and quickly flips the meat with his fingertips. He jerks his hand back before the fire can start doing more than just lick his skin.

“See,” Karkat points at the places that the meat had started to blacken.

“How on this planet could you tell that?” Signless looks up at him with a little awe in his eyes. 

Karkat blushes.

“Because the top was starting to get damp and I could see the color spreading up the side. You don’t want to cook meat for more than five minutes on either side with how thin you cut that stuff.”

“You know how to cook?” 

“Don’t sound so surprised.” Karkat grumbles.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. I just didn’t expect it.”

Karkat shrugs. “”It’s okay, not like I’ve really had a chance. We haven’t had any real meat to cook so far, and I’m not used to scavenging, so I don’t know what to do with those roots and stuff, but I know meat. I’m not sure how, but I’m pretty sure I cooked it a lot.”

“Well, that makes one of us.” Signless looks at the fire.

“What do you mean?”

He gives Karkat a smirk. “If that display didn’t just give you an idea of my cooking skill then let me tell you, I am a shit cook.”

Karkat can’t help but laugh.

“Finally, something I can actually teach _you_ about.”

“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you.” Signless’s smirk is mirthful.

“Maybe more than I should have.”

“Well, know that you are definitely a better cook than I am.” Signless reaches over and ruffles Karkat’s hair.

“Good, because this cook says to get that thing off of there before we turn it into a rock.”

Signless does as he is told and quickly pulls the howl-beast steaks off of the grill. He literally tossed Karkat his and the two go about tossing the steaks into the air from hand to hand for a few moments. It comes with a lot of swearing and splashing of grease, but soon they are cool enough to hold without severe burning. Karkat licks the meat and savors the coppery undertone and the salt that Signless had provided. It has been so long since he’s actually had anything like this and it’s hard not to just bite right in and burn the hell out of his mouth. Signless, however, doesn’t seem to care.

“Ah-ha.” Signless sits panting around the bite while Karkat laughs. 

“Really?”

“ ‘Orry,” Signless says before closing his mouth, chewing quickly, and swallowing. “I’ve never been good at waiting when it came to cooked food.”

“Really?” Karkat takes a small bite along the edge of his steak. Steam comes up from the inside of it but he manages not to burn his tongue. “Why?”

“It was rare we got anything like this,” Signless replies.

“We?”

Signless nods. “I believe I used to travel with a few others. The two I called Disciple and Psi and then one other that made me that red sweater.” He looks over at where his and Karkat’s clothing is folded up on the floor. “Sometimes, when we do things, I’ll get flashes of things. Memories of working with another pair of hands to cure a hide, laughing with someone, and being scolded for eating too quickly.” He holds up the steak and smiles. “I think it was my lusus who did that.”

“Crabdad.” The name pops out of Karkat’s mouth. His heart spikes as he remembers the name and a somewhat blurry memory pops into his head.

“Your lusus?”

Karkat nods. “He was weird as hell, kind of strict, but I think he’s the reason I remember making meat. I think he loved fish the most, or maybe it was fish eggs.” Karkat bites into his steak, chews, and swallows. “I don’t think I could get either very often, though, so it was cheap meat like this.”

“It is a bit tough, isn’t it,” Signless says as he looks at his steak.

“We can beat the hell out of it next time. Right now this is the best thing I’ve tasted in recent memory.”

“I remember honey bread.”

Karkat blinks. “Honey bread?”

Signless nods with a smile. “I’m not sure who made it, but one of them would make bread that either was made with honey or you put honey on top. It was rare to have it, but I remember enjoying it very much. It was a special treat.”

“We’ll have to keep an eye out for honeycomb.” Karkat takes another bite, stares into the fire and tries to remember anything else he used to eat. The ghostly taste of something acidic and bitter covers his tongue.

“I remember drinking a lot of shitty coffee.”

Signless swallows next to him. “Shitty coffee? Not decent?”

Karkat shakes his head. “Nope, shitty. It was some kind of joke, I think, though I never fully got it. Dave used to drink it by the cupfu-” He pauses. “Holy shit I remembered someone else.”

Signless smiles as he chews before his face turns thoughtful. “Dave,” he says before cocking his head. “That’s an odd name.”

“And Psi isn’t?” The sudden protective instinct over the name feels odd when Karkat doesn’t even have a face to put it to.

Signless shrugs it off. “Can you remember anything about him?” he asks.

Karkat closes his eyes and tries to think. The harder he thinks the harder the memories seem to hide. “No,” he finally grumbles. He stares into the fire. “Just shitty coffee and…”

“And what?”

“Red,” he says as he watches the flames dance, the tips of them not nearly dark enough to the color he envisions but enough to spur the memory. “Bright, blood-like red.”

“Maybe he is a mutation like us?”

Karkat nods. He hadn’t thought about that before, being a mutant, but it fits too well in his mind for him to comment on it. Signless doesn’t either, the two letting the truth exist as if it always had.

“Or maybe he’s your matesprit.” 

Karkat’s heart jumps into his throat as he looks at Signless. “What?”

“He’s associated with red, so maybe-”

“But aren’t we-”

“We’re not red, Karkat,” Signless cuts in. “I think you know that.”

Karkat opens and closes his mouth before looking at the fire. “We could be.” His stomach churns and ties itself into knots. 

“I think we both know that whatever we have, as red as it might be tinged, it’s not a matespritship.” Signless’s voice is laced with something akin to regret, but then again it could just be Karkat’s wistful thinking. Either way, the words sit heavy in his belly. 

“Then what are we?”

“I don’t know,” Signless replies as he stokes the fire. “I’m not even sure we have a real word for it.”

Karkat gives a bitter laugh. “What? Not even Moirail?”

“We’re more than that,” Signless says quickly. “But...Karkat, when you offered yourself to me it wasn’t because you pitied me, at least not then.” There is no question to the words, none at all, and Karkat’s face heats. “I can’t say that I don’t pity you at all, but be honest. If you already have a matesprit, if you remember them, then wouldn’t you go back to them if you had the chance?”

“Would you?”

Signless sits quietly. 

“Let me guess?” Karkat grumbles. “You’re remembering yours.”

Signless heaves a sigh. “I don’t know, Karkat. I’m not even sure if any of them are even alive, but with the memories coming back and the dreams I’ve had…” he trails off for a moment. “I believe Disciple was, is, my Matesprit.”

They sit in silence a moment before Karkat finally speaks. “Great, I’m so happy for you.” The words come out sounding much more bitter than he intends, though they do match his mood. 

“Karkat, I’m not-”

“No, really, I am.” He gets up. “At least one of us remembers someone who cares about them. All I’ve got are memories about a fucking crab lusus and jumbled ideas and feelings.”

“What about Dave? Karkles sounds like an affectionate na-”

“ _He_ isn’t the one who calls me that,” Karkat snaps.

“Then you remember someone else?”

He scrubs at his hair. “I don’t know, maybe? But it’s not him, and it’s not a name of affection because I don’t _like_ that name. I might have at one time but thinking about it makes me feel sad and confused and…” he drops his hands. “What does it matter? It’s not like we’re ever going to see these trolls again.”

“We don’t know that, Karkat. We have to have some hope that we’ll see our matesp-” 

“I don’t have a matesprit!” Karkat snaps. The sound is too loud in the cave. His shoulders slump. “A moirail maybe, a prospect at someone red, but I don’t have a matesprit. I can remember that much. Almost to my last molting and I have no red quadrant.”

“Karkat…” Signless’s voice trails off.

“Don’t,” Karkat says. “Don’t offer me pity if you aren’t willing to give me all of it.”

Signless backs down. The sound of the crackling fire fills the cave along with the breeze outside.

Outside they hear a far off howl. A few others join in.

“Do you think they’re still following us?” Karkat asks Signless as he looks to the cave entrance. He refuses to look back at him, grateful for the distraction.

“They sound too far away,” Signless assures him. Out of the corner of his eye, Karkat can see that the look Signless gives the cave opening is uneasy. “They must have just made a kill. But Karkat, lis-”

“Like what?” 

Signless sighs. “Maybe a horned-beast? A centaur maybe? Just because we haven’t seen much doesn’t mean there aren’t herds hiding out there in the tall grass.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little weird that we really haven’t seen many animals out there?” he asks before Signless can try and bring back their previous conversation.

“Karkat, please…”

Silence stretches between them. Outside there is another howl. Karkat stands in the silence of the conversation he doesn’t want to have and listens to the beasts outside. Suddenly, the cave with only one way in seems a lot less like shelter and a lot more like a cage.

“Could you get out the bedding?” Karkat asks. “I want to go to sleep.”

Karkat hears Signless open his mouth, a syllable escapes, but nothing else.

“Do you want any more to eat first?” Signless asks finally. 

Karkat looks back at him and sees the hurt in his eyes. He feels his stomach clench.

“No, I’m good.”

Signless nods as he pulls out his sylladex. He murmurs into it and the bedding appears. He scoots off his cloak and throws it onto the tall grass pile. Karkat stares at it.

“Go ahead then,” Signless says as he stands. “I’m going to stay up just a while longer, at least until the sun comes up.”

 _’So you don’t have to be near me,’_ Karkat tells himself. “You think they’re looking for us?” he asks instead.

Signless’s hand twitches like he wants to touch Karkat’s shoulder, but it stays put. 

“No,” he tells him. “I just want to make sure nothing else may have made this cave it’s home before.”

Karkat swallows down the word ‘bullshit’ as Signless heads for the tarp covered entrance. 

Without a word, Karkat climbs onto the bedding.

“Good day, Karkat,” Signless says gently from the cave mouth.

“Good day,” Karkat grunts. He hears the tarp fall back into place.

Tears spring to his eyes as he lays huddled up, the scent of Signless all around him.

 _’Good job, fuck-up,’_ he thinks to himself. _’Good fucking job.'_

He debates on going outside, to apologize and tell Signless it’s alright. 

_’Do I even really pity him?_ Karkat asks himself. The answer is muddled. His instincts tell him to submit to Signless; their interactions tell him that Signless pities him in some way; and while it is true he enjoys being the other’s genetic material receptacle, he’s not sure that means he’s red for him.

_If you already have a matesprit, if you remember them, then wouldn’t you go back to them if you had the chance?_

Karkat shuts his eyes tight. “Fuck.”

Despite his brains whirling, his body's needs take over. His weariness from the climb sinks in, the tension in his muscles tries to relax, and slowly sleep claims him with a lullaby of howls in the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! If you find anything I or my Beta's missed please feel free to let me know!


	6. All but Useless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told y'all it wouldn't be long!

Karkat wakes up with a start. He had not been dreaming, he hadn’t been asleep long enough for that if the light outside and the fire are any indication. There is still plenty of wood for the flames to eat and the light edging around the tarp lets Karkat know it’s almost daybreak.

“Signless,” he yawns as he sits up. He looks towards the back of the cave, expecting to see some sort of movement, but finds it still. Outside he hears the wind whipping around and if not for the rocks that Signless hand put at the base of the tarp, it would most likely have been flapping. Instead, it gives small, quick snaps as the winds whistles by it and Karkat realizes that it must be what woke him.

 _’Must be pissing,’_ he thinks to himself. He goes to lay back down when he hears a slight howling that isn’t just the wind.

Panic sets in his chest as he scurries upwards. Something moves in front of a hole in the tarp.

 _’Oh fuck.’_ Karkat grabs his pants and tugs them on. He barely has them on his hips before his sickles are out. 

He forgoes his almost useless shoes and the red sweater and instead goes to the cave entrance and peaks out. It’s later than he had thought, red peaking over the horizon. Tendrils of it sink into the black clouds above them. He finds Signless a few feet away from the cave entrance, facing away with a sickle pointed down the mountainside.

A growl reaches the cave entrance and Karkat knows what he is facing off against. 

“Signless,” he whispers, his voice high.

“Stay inside.” His words are firm but quiet. He’s wearing his pants, the top is not fully pulled up, and Karkat can see the barest hinting of the marks he had left. Signless is also barefoot.

“Like hell I am,” he hisses. He starts to pull the tarp to the side.

“No,” Signless snaps. Karkat’s hand stills. “Stay-”

The howl-beast appears suddenly, bounding up into Karkat’s line of sight. It’s bigger than the last one, much bigger, jet black, and Karkat feels his heart go to his throat. 

_’It’s mate.’_

“Signless!” 

Signless doesn’t need the warning, his sickles already slicing through the air to keep the beast back. 

“Stay back, Karkat,” he yells. 

Karkat stands frozen in indecision as he watches. The howl-beast snaps at Signless swipes at him, and Karkat feels bile in his throat when it rakes a claw over one of Signless’s forearms. Signless responds with a slice to its chest, though the wound is superficial at best.

A second howl comes and Karkat barely has time to register the second howl-beast that comes from the left. It isn’t the pup from before, but another one that’s around the same size as the one Signless had killed. 

Signless looks over his shoulder at it with wide eyes. With his attention split, the large one senses an opening and charges. Quickly, Signless turns his attention back to the larger one and swipes at it, opening himself to the smaller. The smaller attacks.

“Look out!” Karkat shoves the tarp aside and hits the second howl-beast broadside, just before it can make it to Signless. It sends it staggering sideways, away from Signless, and it trips over the side of the mountain. It lets out a howl as it falls out of sight.

“Get back inside!” Signless roars before ducking away from the large beast. He gives a cry as it catches one of his shoulders and shoves him back.

“Fuck you,” Karkat replies. There is a bark behind him that gives him just enough warning to move. Another howl-beast leaps from a flat place above their cave, teeth bared as it stalks towards Karkat. Karkat puts his sickles out, his back to Signless as he does his best to focus on his new opponent. A growling sound to his right alerts him that another has appeared over their shelter. 

_’It’s the whole pack.’_ Karkat’s heart goes to his throat and his legs try to shake. He swallows as he prepares for one of the howl-beasts to pounce.

Something grabs him by the neck and throws him back towards the cave just before the howl-beast above him attacks. He hears it hit the ground behind him with a thud as he stumbles into the fabric.

“Go!” is yelled as he is shoved inside. Karkat whips around to find Signless facing off against the three beasts that are surrounding them. He’s bleeding from both forearms and Karkat sees where the beast took a chunk out of his side. They all look treatable, though, at least as long as he doesn’t get any more.

There is movement off to the side, and Karkat turns to see the pup he had marked. It shies away from his gaze. As Karkat stares, he feels cold wetness hit his cheek. It startles him as more cold splatters onto his face. It takes his brain a moment to realize that it is raining. It is raining and they are surrounded by howl-beasts.

_’We’re going to die.’_

Signless glances back over his shoulder. “What are you doing!? Get inside!” There is a flash from up the mountain and thunder booms. The beasts look upwards towards it for a moment. 

Signless slashes at them, catches the breast of one and dodges back as it swipes at him and barely misses his chest. The others snap at him, one grabbing the loose cloth around his waist. Karkat darts forwards and cuts its muzzle deep. It lets go with a yelp.

“I’m not dying in there alone,” he says as evenly as he can. He falls into stance next to Signless. “And you’re not dying alone out here.”

“Karkat, do-”

“I told you, Signless,” he starts, voice wavering as he fights not to let it crack. “I want to be useful.”

Signless falls silent next to him as they look at the three beasts. They are all growling and snapping, moving in slowly now that Karkat has drawn blood.

“I do pity you, Karkat,” he says just loud enough to be heard over the weather. “Even if I had found Disciple again, I would still pity you.”

Karkat doesn’t respond. He can’t with the large lump in his throat. He wants to say something to him, tell him he pities him back, at least to some extent, but he’s not sure he can. The thunder above them would have drowned anything out anyways. 

The beasts swim before him as his eyes are filled both with tears and raindrops. He stands up straighter next to the sagging Signless. Karkat looks at the howl-beasts. They are side-by-side, angled towards the cave. The wind tugs at their fur and the rain starts coming down in sheets. Off to the side, Karkat sees the pup and a sickening idea fills his head.

“I pity you too,” he says between thunderclaps. “And I hope you find them!’

“What do- KARKAT!”

None of the howl-beasts seem ready for the sudden flight. The one closest to Karkat does snap at his side, but Karkat cuts at its throat with his sickle. Barks of confusion follow him as he runs straight at the howl-beast pup.

“KARKAT!” 

The pup lets out a surprised yelp before it turns to try and run. It slips on the rocky surface, paws tripping over one another as Karkat closes in on it. Behind him, Karkat hears claws scrambling for purchase on the slick rocky terrain.

 _’Follow me fuckers.’_ The pup is lighter than he expects when he grabs it around the waist, his arms sinking into its warm, wet fur. It thrashes against him as he heads for a bend up ahead. His toes dig into the ground as he goes to turn, the stoney soil cutting into them, but he finds purchase. 

The pup in his arms thrashes hard.

Karkat slips.

He and the pup tip over the side of the mountain, Karkat’s arms releasing it as he tries to grab at anything. All he finds is more fur as the other beasts finally catch up and slide over the wet ground. A large paw kicks him further from the edge and he falls into the open air. 

He stares wide-eyed as he watches the howl-beasts slide into one another, knocking each other into the nothing below; following him down.

“KARKAT!” He catches a glimpse of Signless just before he loses sight of the ridge. 

_’He’s alive.’_ Karkat feels a smile cross his face as he looks upwards, towards the top of the mountain and watches as lightning crisscrosses the sky. _’He’s alive.’_

The sun breaks over the horizon.

Karkat closes his eyes and waits for the thud of the ground, for the weightlessness to disperse. The wind rushes over his ears so quickly it almost becomes silence as he stares at the capillaries of his eyelids.

“Karkat?”

He opens his eyes, his sight still blurred with water and tears, and the first thing he sees are red eyes.

“Signless?” His voice comes out thick and raspy.

“No, Karkat,” there’s a sniffle. “Karkat, it’s Dave.”

Karkat blinks a few times. “Dave?” The face in front of him isn’t gray like a troll's, and the hair on their head is the color of straw; the light strands are pushed up in odd angles by what look like black glasses.

 _’Shades,’_ his brain tells him.

“Holy shit, is he awake?” Karkat turns his head to find a doorway. The person who is framed by the doorway is wearing square glasses and has large buck teeth. 

“What…” Karkat looks around him. “Where?” He’s in a room, _his_ room. From outside sunlight pours in, but it isn’t burning him. He squints at it and sees ‘Thanks for Playing’ glowing dully next to it. 

Memory hits hard and breathing becomes impossible.

“Fuck, Karkat, come on.” Dave turns to the door. “John, get Terezi, now!”

Karkat gasps. _’We won. I’m not dead. Dave, John, Terezi, Jade. I’m not dead. Where is Signless? What happened? Why am I not dead? Why-”_

“Karkat.” Dave grabs his face and forces him to look into his eyes. “Stay with me man. Don’t go back to sleep. For the love of all that is holy in this goddamn universe do NOT go back to sl-”

Karkat doesn’t fall asleep. Karkat blacks out.

\--------

“Kaaaarkles.” The voice brings him back slowly. “Come on, Karkat, there you are. Follow me out of that pan of yours.”

“Terezi?” Karkat’s voice is just as raspy as before but steadier. He opens his eyes to find a sharp smile and red glasses. 

“Yeah, there you go,” she says as she sits at the side of his bed. “Been a long time since I smelled your eyes.”

“Is he okay?” Dave appears next to here. “What are you doing? You’re not having to mess with his brain, are you? Will he-”

“Dave, if you don’t shut up I will have Jade teleport you to the other side of the world. I’m a Seer, not a Sylph. He’s waking up on his own.”

“The hell is going on?” Karkat asks as he rubs at his eyes. “Why are you guys in my room?” He looks around and sees his recuperacoon against the wall and then looks down at himself. “And why the fuck am I in a bed?”

Terezi and Dave look at one another.

“I’m going to go see if I can get ahold of Roxy again.” 

Karkat turns just in time to see John slip out of the room.

“I’ll go see if Rose and Kanaya are done with the new hatchlings.” He turns to find Jade standing up from a chair by his bed. “They’ll want to see him.”

“You’re seriously going to have _us_ explain all this to him?” Terezi deadpans. 

“Explain what?” Karkat asks in confusion before Jade suddenly hugs him.

“I”m so happy you’re awake,” she murmurs to him before pecking him on the cheek and quickly fleeing the room. He swears he can see tears on her cheeks despite her smile.

“Well, I guess it’s just us,” Dave says to Terezi. 

“Nope, just you,” Terezi replies as she gets up. “Sorry, Dave, but his mind’s had enough shit thrown at it. It’ll be easier on him if he only has to deal with one of us right now. I’ll be outside if you need me.”

“Really?” Dave asks, voice pained. 

“Hey, Seer here, and from what I’m gathering from that brain of his you’re the best one to talk him through this.” 

“Really?”

“No.” Terezi grins at him. “That would be Rose, but you’re pretty close.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Terezi goes to pat his shoulder, her hand missing the first time and he has to shift a little so she can actually touch it the second. 

“Just go slow,” she tells him.

“Go slow about what?” Karkat asks as she walks out and closes the door behind her.

Dave sighs and scratches at the back of his head. Karkat realizes his shades are back on 

“Well…” Dave starts. “I guess the short of it is that you’ve been asleep for almost two weeks.”

“Two weeks!” Karkat snaps as he sits upright. “What the fuck happened?”

“You almost...died.”

Karkat blinks. “What?”

“Do you want to wait for Rose? I mean she could-”

“Dave. What the fuck happened?”

Dave sits on the bed. “You really don’t remember much, do you?”

Karkat shakes his head. “I remember the game, us coming to the future when the planet was all ready for us and getting settled in, all of us going about our lives and that shit.”

“Nothing specific?” Dave asks.

“Of course I do! We just celebrated John’s nineteenth birthday last we-”

“Three weeks ago.”

“Three weeks ago?” Karkat’s voice is almost a whisper.

Dave nods.

“Alright, then I remember his birthday three weeks ago, and then...“ Karkat swallows. “And then I remember being back on Alternia.”

“That wasn’t Alternia, Karkat.” Dave touches his knee. “You were in a dream bubble. You got sick. Really, REALLY, sick with some sort of new illness our universe cooked up. Kanaya had it too, but she didn’t get as bad as you. Apparently, it’s like a really bad troll flu. Most trolls have built up an immunity to it, or they can fight it, but we skipped all the evolution that developed that. Kanaya got sick, like not getting out of bed sick and some delusions, but you…” Dave shifts. “I don’t know how to tell ya this, but you went into a kind of coma.”

 

Karkat stares at him. “That’s not funny, Dave.”

“No, Karkat, it wasn’t.” Dave stares right back at him. “You were throwing up blood, had fevers, and couldn’t keep anything down. We had you on IV’s up until yesterday.”

Karkat looks down at his arm and finds a band-aid in the crook of his arm. Fuzzy images fill his head. Him vomiting over the side of his recuperacoon, Jade and Dave worrying over him, a parade of faces as he laid down. He swallows thickly. “I was that sick?”

Dave nods. “Yeah. Thought we were going to lose you, but your health seemed to even out, your fever broke, but you wouldn’t wake up. We had to call Terezi back from her search to help pull you out. Wasn’t until she got here that she told us you were trapped in some sort of dream-bubble.”

Karkat sits silently, his brain whirling. Two weeks? He’s been asleep for two weeks?

“Then Signless…” he can’t bring himself to say it.

“You mean your ancestor?”

Karkat feels his stomach clench. He had met his ancestor in the dream bubbles. He had met what Kankri had become when his game and restarted.

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

Dave flickers for a moment only to re-appear with a bucket.

“Doubt you’ll have much in your stomach. We’ve been having to feed you off IVs and a tube.”

“No wonder my throat feels like shit,” Karkat grumbles. He holds the bucket close, his stomach threatening to empty.

“Anything else I should know about while I was out?”

Dave shakes his head. “Not really. Jane has been working with Roxy to make a vaccine for the virus. It only seems to affect trolls Jade blooded and lower. We think it hit you as hard as it did because you’re a-”

“Mutant. Yeah, great to know my blood color is still fucking me over in the new world.”

He stares at the bed.

Dave scoots a little closer. “You doing okay?”

“No, Dave, I’m not okay. I almost died, I was trapped in a bubble for over two weeks, and my fucking Ancestor’s ghost is out there wandering a wasteland of a world looking for other ghosts while unable to remember anything!”

Dave sits still. “Uh…”

“And now he thinks I’m dead!” Karkat hits the bucket hard with his fist. “I threw myself off that fucking cliff to save a dead troll and now he’s probably sitting in that cave panicking because he’s all alone and he has NO ONE in that bubble of his. He can’t even remember that he’s dead!”

“Hey, breathe Karkat, I’m sure he’ll figure it-”

“No Dave, I don’t think he will! When I was in that dream I had NO memory of anything that had happened. I forgot about the game, I forgot about our world, I forgot about _you_.”

They sit in silence for a moment.

Dave shifts uncomfortably before uttering a single word. “Shit.”

Karkat makes a strangled sound of frustration before throwing the bucket hard at the window. In a blink, Dave is there to catch it before the glass splinters. 

“Whoa, hey, now-”

“If you tell me to settle down I will beat you into unconsciousness with a pillow and then maybe, _maybe_ , you’ll get to know what it's like to feel like you’ve been living a completely different life with someone you may or may not have pitied to the point that you threw yourself from a cliff just so they could live and find their own god damn matesprite! And now I know they aren’t even fucking alive!”

“What?”

Karkat lets out a scream of anguish and rage as he bangs his fists just under his horns. 

“Whoa, Karkat. Karkat!” Dave’s hands grip his wrists.

“Let go,” he snarls. He can feel tears in his eyes as he tries to pull away. “Let me knock myself out. I have to tell him I’m okay, that he’s in a bubble. He has no idea Dave, he, he-” his voice breaks. Instead of trying to tug his hands away he instead grips at Dave’s forearms.

Dave quickly climbs up onto the bed and pulls Karkat into a hug. 

“He’s all alone, Dave,” Karkat sobs. “Besides the beasts his bubble is empty.”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. He’ll figure it out, he-”

“No,” Karkat shakes his head against Dave’s chest. “No, you’re not listening. He doesn’t _remember_. The bubbles are built off of _memories_. All he remembers is the planet, maybe something that happened involving howl-beasts, but that’s it. He’s wandering around, falling asleep like he’s still alive. I-It’s like he’s stuck. I need to tell him. Maybe then he can find somebody. Maybe-”

“You are not going back.” Dave’s voice is so stern it shocks Karkat into silence. 

Karkat pulls away from Dave’s chest. He feels anger bubbling up inside him. How could he say that? Dismiss the idea without understanding why? And he can’t stop him. It’s not like he can keep Karkat from sleeping.

“Karkat,” Dave says, hands going to Karkat’s shoulders. Karkat tries to shrug them off but they stay on.

“You _can’t_ go back. Not alone.”

Karkat jerks his head up to find Dave smiling sadly. “You go back by yourself and you’re stuck, you hear me? And how are you going to get there? We can’t control the bubbles, dude. You may try and try but you may not ever find the right Signless again. There could be thousands of versions of him in thousands of bubbles.”

“But-”

“Listen,” Dave insists. “You’re not going back in there again for a while. Not until you get some food in you and Terezi and Rose take a look at your noggin.”

“But I need-”

“You _need_ to get your head straight. Quicker you do that, quicker Terezi can try and use your brain to find the bubble you were in.”

“I am!?” Terezi’s voice comes from the hall.

“You are,” Dave calls back before turning back to Karkat. “And then _we_ will go in with her help, find him, and help him back to whatever reality the dream bubbles can have. Okay?”

Karkat stares up at him, the cogs in his brain taking a moment to catch.

“Karkat, is that okay?” Dave sounds a bit worried.

“Dave…” Karkat’s crying again. He can feel that he’s crying; warm, red-tinged tears that fall down his face and onto the sheets below.

“Hey, no crying. We’ll get him help.”

“Thank you.” The words are strained and choked.

“What about me?” Terezi asks as she pops her head in, a smile on her face.

Karkat flips her off with tears in his eyes and a smile.

“Missed you too, Karkat.”

“Come on.” Dave slowly untangles himself though he doesn’t let go of Karkat’s hand. “I bet you want something to eat.”

Karkat nods and lets Dave help him up.

“Rose is going to get mad at you for moving him,” Terezi says in a singsong voice.

“Rose can eat me,” Dave replies. “Not going to let him waste away in this bed any longer.”

Karkat can’t say anything back, he just smiles as Dave helps him get to unsteady feet. His legs feel both brittle and soft; like wet pine needles.

“You okay?” Dave asks softly.

Karkat nods and takes a shaking step. Dave is there to catch him.

“Want a wheelchair? I’m sure I can find one.”

He shakes his head. “If I can climb a mountain I can get out of bed,” he replies.

“The hell kind of bubble were you in?” Dave asks as he helps him out of the room.

“I’ll tell you after I eat something,” Karkat replies.

“Okay.” Dave squeezes him. “Speaking of which, what do you want?”

Karkat thinks on it a moment. “Can I have honey-bread?”

Dave tilts his head to the side “Honey-bread?”

Terezi taps up beside them. “That’s a weird craving. You sure you didn’t see Sollux in the bubbles too?”

“Shut up, Terezi,” Karkat snips, though he does so with a smile. He pauses. “Wait...when I was asleep, did you slap me?”

Terezi gives a cackle before turning on her heel and tapping her way down the hall.

“She did, didn’t she.”

Dave pats his shoulder. “Yep. Your cheek was red for a day.”

“Was that really the only way you guys thought you could wake me up?”

“Hey, I tried the whole kissing sleeping beauty thing. When that didn’t work we tried slapping.”

“You kissed me?”

Dave’s cheeks go red and he looks straight ahead.

“Let’s go get you some honey bread.”

Karkat doesn’t press the issue. He’s got enough to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left. It's update won't be as quick as this one, but it will be soon! Thanks for reading!


	7. Final Use

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter. I hope you all enjoy! As always, if you ever see a big mistake me and my beta's missed please let me know!

“You sure you want to do this?” Dave is laying down next to Karkat. Their toes are pointed in opposite directions while their heads are almost ear to ear. Instead of being on a bed, they are on the blanket-covered floor while Terezi sits cross-legged next to their heads.

“If Terezi says she can pull me out this time, I trust here.”

Terezi gives a small cackle. “That’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear.”

Karkat shoots her a well-humored glare.

She grins, her face pointed more towards the bed than Karkat. “But don’t worry. I’m going in with you. I’ll actually know where you are this time, not searching mentally through the entire world of the dream-bubbles. Do you know how many dead yous I had sniffed out before I found you?”

“No, I’d really rather not know how many doomed iterations of me there are.” 

“Well lucky for you I lost count in the low hundreds.” 

“Terezi, just get me into the bubbles.” His left leg shakes restlessly. He needs to get back in quick. How long has it been in the bubbles?

She gives a shrug, though she keeps smiling. “Can’t do anything until you fall asleep.”

Karkat frowns. “You mean you can’t do it for us?”

“I’m the Seer of Mind, Karkles. I can’t actually mess with that gray matter of yours, just track it and move along my own mental timeline.”

“Fuck.” Karkat feels a tug at bringing up Vriska, making some sort of comment about how this is probably one of a handful of times he’s actually wanted her around, but he manages to bite his tongue. He sees Terezi’s smile twitch and hopes she didn’t somehow get a whiff of that thought. Before he had been ill she had been spending almost all of her time trying to find her. The last thing he wants to do is bring up a sore spot when she’s about to help him.

“Whelp,” Dave says as he un-captulogs something. “Sounds like we need a little of the Quil.”

“The fuck is that?” 

“180 proof is what this shit is.”

Karkat shifts to watch Dave take a quick drink of some sort of green liquid.

“What is that?”

“Ny-Quil,” Dave replies as he hands it to Karkat. “Believe me, you will sleep.”

Terezi gets a whiff of the bottle as it is passed under her. “Ooooo, smells like green,” Terezi says with a grin. 

Karkat takes a swig and winces. “Tastes like green.”

“Let me try.” Terezi’s hand starts groping for the bottle.

“Uh-uh.” Dave grabs the bottle before Terezi can. “You need to be awake for this.”

“Alright....” she sighs. “But I want some after.”

“No, no you really don’t,” Karkat replies as he tries to suck the flavor off his own tongue. “How long does this stuff take?”

“Depends on how much you fight it.” Dave re-captulogs the bottle. “I mean, it’ll take a bit, but this shit will get into your bloodstream pretty quick, so as long as you don’t try and stay awake then it shouldn’t be long.”

“Well, I hope it goes quickly,” Terezi says as she fiddles with her cane’s strap. “As much fun as all this is, I need to get back to the edge of the universe.”

Karkat sighs and closes his eyes. “Sorry for the inconvenience,” he grumbles. 

Terezi pats his shoulder and he hears her chuckle. “No, you’re not.”

Karkat can’t help the small smirk on his face. 

“Do you want me to rap you a lullaby?” Dave asks a few moments later.

“No, Dave.”

“Okay, but if you need one, then just-”

“I’ll let you know.”

Dave moves next to Karkat and Karkat can feel Dave’s hair shift over his cheek. His hair feels softer than Signless’s, finer, but it makes Karkat think of the times when he and Signless had slept side by side. A bittersweet bubble expands in his belly, fills his limbs with an ache of remembrance, and then slips away to leave exhaustion behind. Not physical exhaustion, but a mental exhaustion that dips into his bones.

“There we go,” he hears Terezi say, but her voice sounds odd. “Don’t take too long.”

Karkat shifts towards Terezi. “Well, how long do you think it’ll take?” There is no answer.

Karkat opens his eyes and finds himself standing at the foot of the mountain, the evening winds pushing down the side. Above him, a storm is raging unlike anything he has ever seen. It takes a moment for the dream to catch, but when it does, he can feel the winds tearing at his clothing.

“Whoa.”

Karkat jumps before turning and finding Dave.

“This really what your planet was like?” Dave asks as he looks down at the diminishing steam out by the river and then up at the storm above. Karkat watches with mild fascination as the winds seem to pass through Dave; Dave’s mind not quite registering what is happening.

“Be glad we’re not in the wastes,” Karkat replies as he looks up the mountains. “Lightning storms were the least of your problems out there.” High up on a ledge he can see a pinpoint of light and realizes that it has to be the cave. 

“How long do you think it’s been in this dream bubble?” he asks Dave as he watches the light flicker. “You know, since I left.”

He gives a shrug. “Shit if I understand bubble logic. You were only awake a few hours. Couldn’t be more than a day or two I’d guess.”

Karkat’s heart twists. Signless could have been dealing with his death for over 48 hours while alone on a mountain in a world he could only remember the barest details of. He shivers. _’I know these bubbles were made to preserve us,’_ he thinks to himself. _’But this is more like a personal hell.’_

“You ready to fly up there?”

Karkat turns to dave with a raised eyebrow. “Fly?”

“We’re in a dream, dude. Nothing like doing a little lucid bullshit and zipping up there quick. Plus, you know, God Tier.” He jerks a thumb at himself.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t have to remind me.” Karkat looks up the side of the mountain, remembers how it felt when the rock to cut into his palms, and shudders. His whole body suddenly aches.

“Or...ya know, you could slip back into the dream.”

Karkat looks down and finds himself in the same state of dress he had been in before going over the cliff. His pants feel wet and heavy like the dream is picking up right where he had left off when falling off the cliff.

“Sorry,” he replies as he crosses his arms over his nude belly. “I was kind of trapped in here for a few weeks. Hard not to just jump back in.” Already his toes feel cold on the bare earth.

Dave smiles and pats him on the shoulder. “That’s what I’m for, now, come on.” He extends his elbow. “I’ll get you up there.”

Karkat tentatively links his arm with Dave’s before he is suddenly jerked upwards. The dreams gravity fights to keep him in its grasp while Dave pulls him toward the cave at a quick clip. Dave’s brain fights against the dreams logic but only does so well at it. The wind seems to be buffering against him, making them sway at times, and Karkat notes that when they enter the actual rainfall Dave starts to become damp.

“Shit!” Karkat yells as he grips hard to Dave’s arm, his body jerking as a harsh gust blows downward. They drop a dozen feet or so before Dave catches them.

“Yeah,” he replies with a slightly strained grin. “You’re right. Hard not to fall into the dream.”

Karkat nods and readjusts his grip on Dave’s arm. Dave keeps flying them upwards until they’re on level with the cliff he had fallen off of. The rain is heavier, and Karkat finds he has to squint to see through the harsh drops and flashes of lightning. The two of them have to huddle close together as they head down the path, otherwise, it would be too small for them to walk side by side.

It’s hard for Karkat not to feel a bit sick. He’s walking back down the way he had gone. In places, he can see where he and the howl-beasts had caused small rockslides and can see deep puddles in the shape of large paws. For a moment he feels the fear of being chased again; hears their howls on the wind.

“You okay?” The sudden words in Karkat’s ear make Karkat jerk so hard that he almost flings himself off the cliff.

“Whoa there.” The words are barely audible as Dave grabs Karkat’s upper arm and tugs him back, right into his own chest. Karkat shivers a bit against him.

“Don’t scare me like that,” Karkat hisses, though his words are mostly swallowed by the wind. He pulls away and looks back down the path. A crack of light spills out over the path and waivers in the wind and rain. Karkat stares at it and tries to convince himself that his shivering is purely from the icy droplets that stab at him and not the anxiety caused by what he’s about to do.

“You ready?” Dave asks, this time yelling over the rain instead of leaning in.

“I think you should wait here!” 

Dave doesn’t look happy about it, but he nods. Karkat is surprised when a rain slicker suddenly appears on him. Dave smirks a little, no doubt at Karkat’s surprise.

“Lucid dreaming, remember!” Dave continues to look a tad smug as a large umbrella appears before being jerked away by the wind. Dave turns to watch it fly away before turning back to Karkat and shrugging.

It makes Karkat flicker a smile before he turns from Dave and crosses the last few feet to the cave entrance. He can feel the warmth from inside flickering out of the cracks around the tarp, the heat attempting to escape, but the rain keeps him from hearing anything.

 _’Should I call out?’_ he asks himself. _’Would he even believe me if I did? Would he think I had somehow become an un-dead?’_ He stares at the tarp, the holes doing little to show him what lies inside.

“Just do it, Karkat,” he murmurs to himself. “You’re worthless to him just standing out here.” He grabs the side of the tarp before taking a deep breath and then letting it out hard through his nose.

_’Please don’t let him freak out too badly.’_

Karkat pushes the tarp aside.

He expects to find Signless by the fire, maybe laying on the bedding, instead, he finds nothing. The fire itself is crackling merrily, but from the amount of ashes and half eaten wood Karkat can only guess at how long it has been burning. Their gear is all there, though. Well, everything but Signless’s cloak. 

“Signless?” he calls tentatively into the cave. “I, uh…” he pauses. The hell does he say? That he woke up in the real world? “Survived.” The word sounds lame in his ears and he’s actually somewhat grateful when he doesn’t get a reply. At least, until he notices that what he thought were shadows on the floor is actually dried streaks of blood. He can see half-handprints all over, footprints from where Signless stepped in his own blood and a few smears of it on their bedding. 

Karkat follows the blood with wide eyes, noting that it starts just to the left of him and moves back into the cave. A secondary trail, almost heavier, comes back out from the rear of the cave to just before the fire. Karkat shudders. 

_’The bite on his side,’_ he thinks to himself. He follows the blood and wonders how it could be thicker coming back towards the entrance. Maybe he’s following the wrong trail? Or there was another howl-beast. He does his best to shove that thought away.

Either way, Signless had come back here and he had survived. It is the only explanation to the fire and why there isn’t a blood trail leading back out. Maybe he had come back here again? Even with Karkat dead, he would still need the howl-beast fur to get over the mountain. 

Karkat comes around the corner to find a somewhat gruesome sight. The howl-beast pelt is torn to pieces. Scraps of it are all over, littering the floor with dark fur, salt, and red blood. Karkat takes a step back and feels sick. Signless’s blood is splattered everywhere, especially on the scraps of the pelt.  
Karkat looks at one large piece that is left. It’s about the size of Karkat’s torso, and when he bends down to lift it a little, he finds that it is filled with punctures. 

Karkat turns quickly from the sight and heads towards the front of the cave. Signless is gone and he has no idea when he’ll be back. That is if he’s coming back…

 _’He has to,’_ Karkat thinks to himself. _’He didn’t captulogue everything back up and why else would he make a fire?’_ He walks past the crackling sticks and heads for the mouth of the cave. Might as well get Dave inside. He doesn’t think he can stay in the bloodied cave alone without going insane anyways.

Just as he reaches the tarp he hears some sort of cry. It is followed by what he almost mistakes as thunder, but thunder isn’t metallic.

Karkat darts outside, heart in his throat, and feels his eyes go wide. Dave has his sword up in a defensive stance as he does his best to deflect the two sickles that are trying to gut him. Signless is swinging almost crazily at him, his face a grimace of rage that makes Karkat feel sick. He looks exactly like Karkat had always imagined an adult troll; violent and deadly. 

Signless’s pants are unzipped to the waist, the upper part whipping behind him with every movement. Karkat can see a makeshift set of bandages around his middle and realizes that they’re the same color as his cloak. At least, those that aren’t soaked almost black with blood.

Dave dodges around him. Signless follows, though somewhat clumsily. Karkat can see fresh red dripping from the bandages.

Despite the fact that Signless is most likely in pain, he doesn’t stop swinging at Dave who is doing his best to get a word in edgewise around the sound of the storm and the clash of their weapons. Karkat can hear him trying to say something, anything, to the rabid troll before him in between his perries.

“Hey- I’m not- That’s my- Fuckin-” Dave just barely manages to keep his throat from being sliced by one sickle as he blocks the second.

“Signless,” Karkat calls out, though little sound comes from his tight throat. The older troll doesn’t hear him. He keeps going, the wind whipping around him as scattered rolls of thunder try to deafen them.

“Signless!” he tries again and takes a step forward. Dave blocks against a savage blow. It knocks him backward towards the edge. 

Dave’s arms pinwheel as his body tries to fight the dream’s gravity, not that Karkat is really thinking of it as a dream anymore. He is facing Signless, a troll that has kept him alive out here for weeks, who has pailed with him multiple times and filled him to bursting, about to kill the guy who had kissed him in hopes of a fairy-tale ending. 

Signless pulls a sickle to the side and Karkat knows he’s about to slice Dave right across the belly.

“Stop,” he croaks as he stumbles forwards. Signless’s arm tenses. “STOP!”

The world listens.

Everything around them ceases. The wind, the rain, even all sound. It all comes to a sudden halt that seems to include Karkat’s breathing and heart. Dave stands perfectly still on the edge of the cliff, arms stalled in their pinwheel, and Signless stands ready to strike. Karkat takes a step forward and finds himself startled as the raindrops bump into him and then fly off around him.

“Signless?” Karkat asks gently as he brushes some of the droplets aside. “Dave?” Both of them seem to regain movement at the same time. Dave throws himself sideways as Signless jerks his head around in confusion.

“And here I thought I was the only one who could stop time,” Dave pants as he kneels on all fours. 

“What-what is happening?” Signless asks as he looks around at the rain, his voice confused and angry. “What did you do!” He turns back towards Dave.

“Wasn’t me,” Dave replies, though he does stand with his sword at the ready.

“The hell it wasn-”

“Signless,” Karkat quickly interrupts. 

Signless freezes again almost as completely as before. He stares straight ahead, and for a moment Karkat is worried that he is frozen yet again. His rapidly heaving chest is the only thing that lets Karkat know that he is still very much aware. 

“Signless,” he says again, voice gentle. 

Signless’s head turns slowly towards him. Karkat watches emotions cascade over the older troll’s face as he stares at Karkat, looking just like he had before Karkat had gone over the cliff.

“No...you-” he takes in a shuddering breath. It is a thick, sticky sound that makes Karkat’s chest ache. “You fell. Y-you’re dead.” He turns to Dave. “You!” He points a sickle at him. “You’re doing this! Whatever you are, I swear I will kill you, I’ll-”

“No, Signless,” Karkat quickly runs forward. “It’s me, I swear, it’s-” He barely dodges a sickle.

“Karkat’s dead!” Signless roars. “You’re nothing but a vision, a-a dream!’

“No, Signless,” Karkat says as calmly as he can. “This _place_ is a dream.”

Signless looks like he’s been slapped.

“We’re dreaming, Signless,” Karkat continues. “This entire time we’ve been dreaming.” He takes a few careful steps forward. Signless backs up, his steps matching Karkats.

“You’re lying,” Signless snarls, though his anger seems more fueled by fear.

“Signless, please,” Karkat keeps stepping towards him. He pays little attention as the world seems to blur around him; a watercolor landscape attempting to feign reality.

“You’re dead!” Signless shrieks.

Karkat bites his lip as Signless walks backward over the ledge, though his body doesn’t seem to realize it. He keeps walking out into the empty air and Karkat follows him. 

“No, Signless,” he says thickly when he’s almost to the edge and Signless is standing in what would be empty space. There are tears building in his eyes and there is little he can do to stop them as he says, “You are.”

Signless comes to stand very still in the air. His eyes are wide and darting around and his chest heaves. Karkat listens to his labored breathing. He gives a sudden jerk that seems completely involuntary. 

“Signless?” 

Karkat watches in awe as the Signless’s hands raise up above him in jerking motions as if he himself is trying to keep them down. The sickle he still holds in his right-hand goes around his left wrist and the one he threw suddenly appears around the right. They shrink, becoming a set of manacles that Karkat has only seen in history lessons. 

Tears are falling freely down Signless’s face as the bandages around his waist morph. They pull together, creating a shaft that goes straight through him; the bite in his side becomes a large puncture wound. 

“The fuck is happening?” Dave whispers next to Karkat.

Karkat pays him little mind as he watches red tears drip from Signless’s eyes and blood dribbles from his chin. “He’s remembering.”

The remark is barely made before Signless lets out a scream that rocks the world around them. 

“The fuck!?” Dave yells. Karkat can barely hear him. His hands clap over his ears as Signless lets out another world peeling scream. The dream seems to drip around them, the colors running as Dave and Karkat watch Signless writhe against the bonds that hold him upright. The anger that spills from Signless seems to fill Karkat up. 

_’It all could have been so beautiful,’_ he finds himself thinking bitterly, though what the idea means he is unsure. _’Together we could have made our world so beautiful.’_

Dave grabs Karkat’s shoulder. “We need to go!” he yells, or at least that’s what Karkat thinks he’s saying. There is nothing but the echoing scream as the dream seems to melt around them, the dark clouds swallowing them as Signless yells. 

Karkat tears away from Dave and shakes his head. He can’t go. Something inside him knows that if he does it’ll just start all over. Signless will be in the wilderness, alone, searching for something he knows nothing about while refusing to remember.

He stumbles towards Signless.

 _’He’s Sufferer now,’_ Karkat thinks to himself as he moves forward and feels a regret that isn’t his own bubbling inside him. Rage hits him in waves, blinds him with red before receding just long enough for him to stagger forward. Then another wave hits and it takes every fiber of his being to keep it from swallowing him. Already his sickles are out, though who or what he would turn them on is unclear in his anger.

Signless’s cries ache inside Karkat, tear through his heart, and Karkat feels hot tears slipping down his face. At least, he thinks they’re tears. He could have blood dripping from his eyes. 

The world around him has faded into shades of blacks, grays, and whites, with the only color standing out being that of Signless’s blood. It is bright as it flows down him and drips onto the dull, flat gray of the dream bubble. It spreads out from him like a pool, lapping at Karkat’s feet as he gets closer. 

_’Get him down,’_ he thinks to himself. _’Get him the fuck down.’_

The blood makes his feet slide a little as he walks. A few times his arms pinwheel when another scream rocks him, the blood attempting to pull him to the ground as it seemingly erases almost all friction. 

“Signless,” he calls out through gritted teeth. A scream meets him. Karkat fights against it and drops his sickles.

Karkat reaches forwards, his fingers shaking. A scream tries to push him back, blood flecks over him from Signless’s mouth, yet Karkat’s fingers find skin.

Signless’s scream catches. His breath seems trapped.

“Signless,” Karkat says and his throat feels completely raw. “Stop punishing yourself.”

The breath in Signless’s throat comes out as a hiccup. Red still flows freely from his eyes, mouth, and side. It is hot and sticky on Karkat’s palms as he reaches upwards to touch Signless’s face.

“I lead them all to death,” he sobs. “I did nothing.”

“You didn't do nothing.”

“But they died!” he sobs. “They slaughtered us and then shackled me up.” He shakes his arms. “The others- they-” Another sob. “I failed them.” 

“If inspiring the lower caste into another uprising sweeps later is failing, then yeah, I guess you did,” Karkat replies. 

“You’re lying,” Signless sobs as he shakes his head.

“No, you thick-skulled fucker, I am not.” Karkat squares his shoulders and mentally plants himself as he starts to explain. “Yeah, a lot of trolls died, but Disciple, the Dolorosa, even Psionic survived past you. Maybe not happily, but Disciple wrote all that shit down that you did, every word, and made sure we knew about it.”

Signless’s eyes blink open. 

“She did?”

“Yeah, she did, and it lead to another low-blood, a brown-blooded mutant, to rise up and try and continue where you left off.”

“Wh-what? Really? Did it work, did they...” He pauses and slumps. The shackles keep him upright. “What am I doing. You’re nothing but a dream. You’ll just tell me what I want to hear.”

Karkat grits his teeth. “No, Signless, I’m Karkat.” He puts both hands on Signless’s chest, pushing so he can feel them even if he won’t look at Karkat. “I’m the troll that’s been stuck in your own personal hell for the last few weeks, the troll that you protected and kept alive, and I’m the last mutation of Alternia; a world that knew your name up until the point that it exploded.”

“Exploded?” Signless looks up. “They went so far as to destroy the world to liberate everyone?” The look on his face portrays such horror and anguish that Karkat mentally wants to punch himself.

“No, they didn’t, it was, I meant-” Karkat takes a deep breath. “Yes the world exploded but it wasn’t Summoner, it was… Could you get down? Trying to explain the insanity of the uprising, dream-bubbles, death, and the fucking hellscape that was Sgrub is going to be hard enough to explain without you reliving your death during it.”

Signless looks like his brain might be hemorrhaging from the look on his face. Karkat can’t help but think something along the lines of ‘if he wasn’t already dead then this would probably kill him’ as he reaches up towards the shackles. Not that it does much; there really is a good height difference between them and even on tiptoe he barely teaches Signless’s elbow with his fingertips.

For a moment he thinks Signless is just going to continue to hang there. 

“Please, Signless,” he sighs as he continues to reach and mentally wonders if he can try and fly. “I can’t stay long.”

Karkat’s statement seems to pull Signless out of whatever thought he’s stuck in. “What?”

The manicals suddenly fall away and Karkat finds himself having to help catch the larger troll. They stumble backward. For a second, Karkat is sure they’re going to go down, but something solid hits his back and they stop.

“Whoa there you two,” Dave says.

“You,” Signless snarls as he quickly pulls Karkat towards him. One arm holds Karkat close as the other goes to swipe at Dave with a sickle. Or at least he tries.

“Nope,” Karkat says as he grabs his wrists before his sickles can go anywhere. “This is Dave. There will be no slicing of the human, even if he’d just wake up.”

“Dave?” Signless looks between Dave and Karkat. “You mean red Dave?”

“Red Dave?” 

Karkat feels his cheeks heat at Dave question. “Not now,” he says; to whom he’s saying it to he’s not sure.

“Listen,” Karkat says as Signless seems to relax a little. Or at least as much as he can. There is still blood on his face and Karkat is sure that whatever this calm is, it’s more because of shock than any actual realizations. “We’ve got a lot to talk about and I’m not sure how much time we have.”

“What do you mean by that? ‘Much time.’”

“I mean that I’m going to have to wake up again at some point or risk falling back into a coma.”

“Yeah, we’d really rather he not do that again.” Dave’s voice tries to stay neutral, but Karkat can hear some annoyance directed at the larger troll.

Karkat throws a slight glare over his shoulder. Dave buffers it with a smirk.

“But, you said we were dead,” Signless murmurs.

Karkat sighs. “Dave could you help me...I don’t know, create a sitting space or something?”

“Whatever you need.” Dave shifts and some sort of living area appears. It looks like the living room of the apartment that Karkat shares with him and Jade.

“Thank you,” he murmurs. He turns to Signless and motions to the sofa. 

Signless looks at it in confusion, his mouth opening and closing a little. 

_’Whelp, that was a great idea.’_ Karkat holds in his sound of annoyance and sits on the coffee table in front of the couch. Signless sits down across from him, shakily, but he isn’t covered in blood anymore. It just seems to fade off of him, and with the disappearance of the red, some color starts to enter the muted landscape around them. Slight greens, some golds and tans, and the hint of blue in the gray above.

Karkat notes that no color returns to Signless’s eyes. Seeing the white there makes his stomach churn.

He turns away to look over at Dave. He sits off to the side in his shity beanbag chair that is more tape than actual bag. Most of that is Karkat’s fault, though.

He quickly looks away from the bag. He’s got to concentrate.

“How did he do this?” Signless pushes on the couch like he can’t believe it’s there.

“You can do that too,” Karkat says. 

“Really?”

Karkat nods. “We’re in something called a dream bubble. The bubbles were created by a troll I knew. It was probably a pain in the ass, but Feferi had always been good with insanities from the deep.”

“Was she a sea dweller?”

Karkat nods. He doesn’t mention her blood color; he’s not sure Signless could take that news without losing it.

“You...you were friends with a sea dweller? Not a slave?” Signless’s awe is palpable.

“Slavery had kind of faded out by the time you left. At least on the planet,” Karkat explains. “The Condesce sent the grown-ups off planet to protect the grubs so there wasn’t much of a need for them.”

“You’re kidding,” Signless dead-pans.

“Nope. She also kind of relaxed some of the rules between castes and social media became more acceptable and made it easier for trolls of all spectrums to communicate. Though don’t get too excited,” he quickly cuts in as he sees Signless starting to swell. “Mutations like me were culled immediately if we had nothing to offer. Lowbloods were still discriminated against and the caste system was still in full force. The mistreatment just went down some from when you were alive. By how much I’m not sure. Never did believe that shit in our history vids about how much ‘better’ we had it.”

“But you had highblooded friends?”

Karkat nods. “I was a moirail for a purple-blood once,” he says softly and tries to keep any bitterness out of his voice. “Didn’t really work out, but it wasn’t because he was of a higher caste.”

“Did he know of your mutation?”

Karkat nods. He doesn’t add in that the guy was also probably so burnt out on sopor that he probably wouldn’t have cared if Karkat bled black. 

“But, anyways, that’s got nothing to do with this shit we’re in right now.” Karat scratches at his skull for a moment, thinking on how to proceed. 

“There was a game we played, Sgrub. You played it too. Well, at least in a different timeline.”

“Different timeline? Game?” Signless asks him. If Signless’s head could spin, Karkat is sure it could have been used to drill through solid rock.

“Yeah, a game. Only in your timeline, or alternate universe, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, trolls lived on a planet called Beforus where lowbloods and mutants were coddled, almost to a point of degradation according to your Alternate self.”

“Alternate self?” 

“Yeah. Your name was Kankri.”

“But…” Signless seems to drift off for a moment in thought. “That _is_ my name.” The word comes out as a barely audible whisper. Uncomfortable silence filters in and Karkat has to clear his throat after a minute. Signless looks up a bit startled.

“What happened to this alternative self?” he asks before Karkat can continue.

“Okay, so here is where shit gets all kind of fucked,” Karkat says. “Alternate you and your eleven friends played a game. This game is a shitshow that pretty much turns the winners into gods, but only if they can beat the game. It also costs you your entire universe. If you die, you’re gone. At least, you were until Feferi made the bubbles.”

“But, wait. How am I-”

“Getting there,” Karkat cuts in. “Your original group failed, but you were able to restart your universe to try and have another crack at it. Your Beforus-self stayed here in the void of the game while a new version of you got to start over. Only, you and the others ended up being spread out everywhere, both on the planet and through time, and you became my ancestor. Okay?”

Signless stares at Karkat before suddenly rubbing his hands harshly over his head. He quickly drops them.

“No,” he replies. “But keep going.”

“Okay.” Karkat pauses to think a moment. There is so much to say, but he can’t tell it all. “Quickest explanation; we played the game and this time we won, but we also fucked up. We created the new universe but never got to actually _do_ anything to it. And in that universe we made humans.” Karkat motions to Dave. “We then got stuck watching Dave here and some of his friends playing their version of the game. _They_ then fucked up and we had to do something similar to what your Beforian-self did, only we didn’t die. At least...not all of us.” Karkat falls silent for a moment. 

“I can finish up if you want me to,” Dave says from the beanbag.

Karkat gives Dave a slightly thankful smile but shakes his head no before continuing. “When we restarted we jumped from that timeline to the new one. While that shit was happening, Feferi, the troll I mentioned, did something with the Horrorterrors.” He quickly has to raise a hand to cut Signless off. “No I have no idea how to explain them, they just exist and control this shit.” Signless takes the explanation and settles back. “With them, she made the bubbles. The bubbles allow everyone who’s died in connection to our timelines to keep existing. To be honest, we had no idea that would include our ancestors.” He falls silent for a moment to let Signless digest the information before he asks, “Do you kind of get it?”

Signless doesn’t respond right away. He sits quietly, hands tight on his knees as he looks down at his lap. Karkat is afraid to say anything When Signless finally does speak, Karkat feels some of the tension on his body relax.

“So I’m dead and in some sort of purgatory bubble run by...dreams?”

“That’s as good a way of explaining it as any,” Karkat sighs. “Though it’s not run by dreams. The living can only really visit them if they’re dreaming. They enter the bubble created by a dead soul and get kind of stuck in whatever the dead soul made their bubble into.”

Signless blinks, a bit stunned. “They can change?”

“Pretty sure we proved that at least three times. I mean, you’re doing it right now.” He looks around them before looking back at Signless. Signless does the same and looks shocked. The color has seeped back into the world and they are back in the woods. This time, though, they are outside of some sort of hut. It looks hastily made, but taken care of, and Karkat can see multiple places where the walls have been well patched or added to despite the hasty construction.

“I know this place,” Signless murmurs.

“You’ve known every place we’ve been to,” Karkat replies. 

Signless’s attention snaps back to him.

“Everything that appears here will be a memory. Good, bad, just day to day shit; it all filters into here. But somehow you had made yourself forget, so you were stuck wandering. For how long I’m not sure. The bubbles don’t seem to really stick to time, more feelings.”

“So you mean I could remember anything or any-...anyone.”

Karkat feels a deflation in his chest. Shit.

“Any _thing_ yes, but…”

“But what?” Signless is sitting up straight, his body almost vibrating.

“You’ll only have other trolls show up if you cross into another bubble. You can populate it with memories, places, maybe shadows of people you once knew, but that’s about it. If another dead troll comes through then you can meld the bubbles, but otherwise, you’re alone.”

“Okay, I’m calling bull-shit.” 

The hash voice makes everyone jumps.

“Hush, Tuna. I want to hear what he’s talking about.” The second voice is hushed like it's trying not to interrupt.

Karkat snaps his head to the side to find three figures. They all look both very familiar and are complete strangers all at once. A female troll with horns like Nepeta but with long hair is glaring at a Sollux look-alike. Between them is what Karkat first mistakes as Kanaya, but she is much too old. Her skin is a darker gray than the others and Karkat can see the black of her hair turning jade in places. 

“But that’th not true at all!” The Sollux look alike snaps. “We all felt him call us here for fuck thake. You want him to never thee u-”

“Hush, both of you,” the eldest says. “They’ve stopped talking.”

The three of them look at Karkat, Signless, and Dave.

“What are they staring at?” The one with Nepeta horns asks.

“Meulin?” Signless’s voice is nothing more than a quivering whisper. 

Karkat feels like he’s going to get whiplash he turns his head sideways so fast. There is red on Signless’s cheeks again, but this time it isn’t blood.

“He sees me,” Karkat hears the long-haired troll whisper, but he can’t look away from Signless. The look on his face is like nothing Karkat has ever seen before; it’s like reverence. It makes his chest hurt. 

“Oh thank fuck. I-Ow!”

Karkat looks back to find Sollux’s look alike rubbing his arm. Meulin had called him ‘Tuna’. It suddenly clicks.

 _’The Psionic, Disciple, and Dolarosa. Mituna, Meulin, Porrim.’_. 

There is a flurry of movement as Signless launches off the couch and into the group.

“Holy shit, Kranky,” Psionic snaps as the three are pulled into a very tight hug. Disciple is crying, her arms not seeming to get enough of Signless as he hugs them all. Dolorosa is smiling with jade tears silently trailing down her cheeks and her face pressed into his hair. Psionic, while acting annoyed, still has a smirk and has an arm thrown over Signless’s shoulders.

“Took you long enough,” Psionic grumbles.

“We’ve been waiting for you,” Dolorosa adds. 

Disciple pulls back just long enough to smack Signless on the skull, right next to a horn. He falls back to rub at it as she glares at him through her tears.

“Do you have any idea how long we’ve been waiting?” she almost snarls. “We’ve been chasing you all over this forsaken place, and you wouldn't- we just-.” Tears drip from her eyes as Signless moves forward. They embrace hard and Karkat feels a little sick as Signless pushes a kiss to Disciple’s mouth which she eagerly reciprocates.

“Okay, I think I need a recap here,” Dave says. Karkat is startled to feel his hand on his shoulder, and when he turns, he finds Dave standing next to him.

“What’s to recap?” Psionic asks as he stands smirking. “We’re dead, this bastard decided to fuck up his own headspace, and no memories meant he couldn’t see us.”

“At least that’s our theory,” Dolorosa adds.

“How long have you been in here?” Karkat asks her.

She shrugs. “As you said, time is funny in here. We just know that it’s been hell trying to get this one,” she motions to Signless. “To come too.” She reaches out and puts a gentle hand on Karkat’s head. “We have you to thank for bringing him back to us.”

“Me?”

“You helped me remember.” Signless comes up on Dolorosa’s side, his hand firmly in Disciples. Karkat can’t help but glance at it. 

Signless must notice because he squeezes her hand before letting go. She releases his a second later, though Karkat can tell she doesn’t want to.

“As much as I hate to say it, would you mind leaving me alone for just a little while longer?” Signless asks the others gently.

Psionic kicks at the ground. “Not like a few more minutes is going to make much of a difference, thith being eternity and all.” Yet he doesn’t go to move. The other two don’t either. They are all staring at Signless steadily and Karkat can feel their hesitation.

“Dave, would you mind taking them somewhere and explaining a bit more about these bubbles?” Signless asks.

Karkat feels Dave’s hand on his shoulder squeeze a bit before relaxing and falling away. “Yeah, sure.” Karkat can hear the hint of dislike in Dave’s voice though he doubts the others around do. 

_’No, don’t leave me here,’_ he thinks at him. _’I don’t want to do this.’_

“So, what have you three figured out on your own so far?” Dave asks as he leads the hesitant group away. The bubble accommodates him, becoming a bright, tunnel-like path in the trees towards what looks like another sitting area. 

“He’s good at that,” Signless murmurs.

“We’ve had practice, though he’s a lot better at it than I am.” Karkat looks down at his hands. Signless sits next to him. As he does, the table seems to shift, and Karkat does his best not to notice that the wood he is perched on is no longer a table, but a log.

Before them, a fire crackles and the couch and hut are gone.

Karkat knows if he turned his head just a little he’ll see a burrow leading down between the roots of a tree. All that is missing is the rope.

“Karkat, I-”

“It’s fine.” His voice sounds anything but fine. He doesn’t care. “You got your memory back, somehow your friends are here, and you can start living a happy, non-hellscape, afterlife.”

“Karkat-”

“And I am back with my friends, being gods, on a planet that we set into motion with a disease that is putting trolls into comas.”

“Karkat, liste-”

“And I swear to god, which I guess is fucking _me_ , that if you pull some rom-com bullshit and say goodbye right now I will never, NEVER, forgive you.” He’s crying, knows he’s crying, and he doesn’t try and hide it as he looks up at Signless. 

Signless opens his mouth, closes it, and then turns to the fire.

They sit like that, side by side as they listen to the crackling of the fire. Somewhere Karkat can hear voices; not close enough to be understood but enough to be known.

“Dave seems nice.” Signless does his best to make his tone conversational, though Karkat can hear how tight it is.

Karkat gives a grunt. His throat feels like it’s closing on a series of splinters.

“I don’t think he likes me much, though.”

“Well, I did almost die and get stuck in here forever,” Karkat grumbles. “Pretty sure that would make anyone’s friend bitter.”

“If you tell me he’s not red for you then I’ll kiss psionic full on the mouth.”

Karkat jerks back in confusion. “What?”

Signless is smiling at him. “I’d have to deal with Disciple flipping quadrants on me for the rest of the evening, but I would.”

“Doesn’t she fill all of your quadrants, though?” Karkat asks before he can stop himself.

Signless’s smile softens. “So that made it into her book it seems.” He looks up at the star filled sky and smiles. “All four and more,” he finally answers before he looks the way Dave had left. 

Karkat can’t stand to look at him longer than a few seconds. His chest is nothing but an ache as his throat tries to work around the splinters and he fights to keep from sobbing.

“Can I assume if I apologize you’ll never forgive me either?”

“What’s there to apologize for?” Karkat asks as he picks at the sweater that has materialized. When it happened he’s not sure, but it’s his usual gray one, and it’s about in the same state it had been when they had first arrived in the dream. 

“This I suppose.” 

Karkat turns in confusion. 

Signless’s mouth is warm, the hands on his shoulder and cheek are firm, yet tender, and Karkat can’t help but sink into it. His hands come up on their own accord and claw at Signless, pull at him, and then shove him away hard.

“What are you doing?” he hisses between hiccups. He will not start sobbing damn it.

“You weren’t just some fling in the woods, Karkat,” Signless tells him. “And even though I may feel guilty about it now that I’ve found Disciple, I can’t lie and say I didn't...don’t feel something for you and probably always will.”

“But it’s not like with Disciple,” Karkat croaks.

“No,” Signless replies.

They sit on the log and stare at one another. Karkat feels sick looking into the colorless white of Signless’s eyes. They seem so wrong without the red.

Signless’s hand sneaks into Karkat’s. “Thank you,” he says.

Karkat wants to look away from his face. There is real adoration there, thankfulness, and a pity that makes him ache.

“Without you, I would probably still be roaming the world being chased by those howl beasts.” Signless looks out past Karkat. “I remember them now. My lusus, Porrim, the Jade blood you met, and I had been traveling. We ended up being stalked by a howl-beast pack when I was small.” 

“Don’t think about it too hard or they might show up,” Karkat says as he pulls his hand back and sets it in his lap. 

He can see Signless frown sadly next to him, but he doesn’t try and take his hand again.

“You should head back to them,” Karkat says finally. “Sounds like they’ve been waiting for you.”

Signless shifts. Karkat can tell he wants to go, to be with his friends. _’To pail Disciple.’_

“Will we be able to see each other again?” Signless asks.

Karkat shrugs. “Who knows. The only reason we got back here as quick as we did is that we have a mind player.”

“Mind player?” Signless asks.

Karkat shakes his head. “Not important.” He doesn’t want to talk anymore. Just sitting next to Signless is torturous. 

“Then, may I at least hug you one more time? Just in case this is go-”

“What did I say about saying that,” Karkat snaps.

“We can’t ignore reality anymore, Karkat?”

“You can, you’re dead!” Karkat immediately regrets the words, but he can’t think of anything to say to fix it. 

Signless seems to take it in stride. “No, Karkat, I can’t,” he tells him. “I forced myself into a place where I erased my reality and put myself and those I loved through a very special hell.” Signless grips Karkat shoulder just hard enough that Karkat can’t fight when Signless makes him turn to face him. “Whatever your reality becomes now, don’t hide from it. I may not be in it again, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t others out there waiting on you.”

Karkat swallows around a lump as he thinks about everyone who had been waiting around his bed. 

About Dave trying to wake him with a kiss.

The hug comes swiftly and Karkat doesn’t fight it.

“I think it is time you woke up,” Signless says gently. 

Karkat suddenly grips at him. His whole body feels like it’s going to vibrate off the log he’s shaking so hard. The suggestion is already resonating with him and he can feel Terezi starting to pull him back.

“That Dave human is very lucky,” Signless says as he pushes a kiss to the side of Karkat’s head. 

“Shut up,” Karkat croaks.

Signless laughs, his voice sounding airy and his body feeling more like the press of wind. Karkat clings to him harder.

“Be happy, Karkat.”

The words follow Karkat out of the dream bubble. They ring in his head as he lays on the ground, eyes tight as he tries to hold on. He knows his arms are at his sides, but he can still feel Signless’s cloak. If he can just keep his eyes closed for a little bit longer then maybe...maybe…

Tears are running freely and he can’t stop the hiccups that escape him.

“Give us a minute?” The words are low, almost a whisper, but he knows they belong to Dave. 

There is the sound of shifting before Karkat hears the tapping of Terezi’s cane and the opening and closing of a door.

“Karkat,” Dave says softly. He comes up on Karkat’s side. His hand is gentle on his shoulder.

Karkat rolls sharply onto his side; away from Dave.

Behind him, Dave sighs. “Listen,” he says softly. “I know this is shitty and all and that you don’t want to hear this, but you really helped that guy.”

Karkat can feel one of Dave’s knees graze his back as Dave settles behind him. “Disciple told me that you two took care of each other and... uh…” he clears his throat. “That you were good to each other.”

Karkat doesn’t respond. His face is burning.

“If not for you, then he would still be trapped in his own head. Hell, they all would.”

Karkat can’t say anything. He knows Dave’s right, feels it, but it doesn’t stop the pain of loss. 

Dave sits behind him, still and awkward while Karkat stares at the wall. He wants to scream, thrash, tear the room apart, and then curl up in Dave’s lap and never leave. But that would mean trying to see if Dave would let him curl up there in the first place.

The heat and weight on his side startles him. It’s not like a hand, wrong shape, and Karkat turns his head just enough to find the top of Dave’s head. He has his forehead pushed into Karkat’s side and his hands are gently pushing into his back. 

“I’m glad you’re back.” 

Karkat continues to stare at Dave’s head. 

“Dave,” he finally says.

“Yeah?”

Karkat lays his head down and looks back at the wall. “Would you lay down with me for a little while?” He refuses to acknowledge that he’s trembling.

“Like we used to on the meteor?” Dave asks gently as he sits up.

Karkat looks back up at him. He can see a sliver of Dave’s irises behind the shades. Karkat reaches up and touches the black glass. 

The shades slip off of Dave’s nose easily and expose the red irises. Dave twitches a little as Karkat removes them, but doesn’t stop him. 

’They are so much like Signless’s,’ he thinks, though they look even more vivid on the white’s of Dave’s eyes than they had in the yellow of the older troll’s. 

Dave stares down at Karkat; his fingers and knee are still a pressure on Karkat’s back.

Karkat feels his breathing hitch. _’He’s looking at me like Signless looked at Disciple.’_

“You going to answer my question?” Dave whispers.

Karkat reaches up and cups his face. He can’t talk around the new splinters in his throat. 

Instead, he pulls Dave down next to him and wraps around him. He pushes himself into Dave’s chest and Dave welcomes it. 

It’s nothing like when they were on the meteor. 

_Whatever your reality becomes now, don’t hide from it._

“Karkat?” Dave asks when Karkat pulls back a little. His eyes look both worried and hopeful.

“Did you really try and wake me up with a kiss?”

“Yes.” Dave’s voice is breathy. 

“Can you do it again?” Karkat stares right into the red of Dave’s eyes. “I’d like to be awake for it this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know if I would be able to get this story to work when the commissioner asked for a one shot to be turned into a full story, but god damn it I tried and I think it turned out decently. I hope you all liked it as well. Thank you all, especially my lovely Patron that commissioned the story, for being so patient with me while I finished this off. Now, on to the next one.


End file.
